INDIA AT WAR

WAR: Quarrel usually between nations conducted by force, state of open hostility and suspension of ordinary international law prevalent during such quarrel, attacks or series of attacks by armed forces; fighting as profession.

Writing contemporary history is one of the most hazardous academic professions, for chronicling events and analysing them is a tricky subject because of the inherent bias which creeps into writings. Furthermore, the turn of events and new evidences can make you look like a fool. But these are extraordinary times and since extraordinary situations call for extraordinary reactions, the common man has to speak out and stand up for his nation, values, culture and most importantly for the future generations, I offer my head for the chopping block. I do not wish my children to grow up under the shadow of guns and grenades instead giggles and gardens. Let the child know about Gandhi before he learns about Genghis Khan.

India is at war. The war is not between nations or religions but between an idelogy which professes pluralism and secularism against one which professe mindless violence, killing of innocents and vandalising. India is above religion, here Sufis existed with saints, here Tulsi, Nanak coexisted with Khwaja Moinuddin Chisti.

" Yeh ek nirlajja hamla hai" (This is a shameless attack), So spake the minister of state for Home affairs, Sriprakash Jaiswal in his reaction to the attack in Mumbai on 11/26 and continuing till the time of writing, as if to assert something which the common individual did not know. 'Niralaajata' (shamelessness) Mr. Minister!! Being the minister of state for Home and thereby responsible for the safety and security of the citizens, and with your shameless record of non performance on this front, you have the gall to call these terrorists shameless. Let me remind you sir, that you are a public servant and earn your salary from the taxes a common man like me and lakhs of others pay. At least the intentions of these terrorists are clear (and have been clear for decades), they want a decimation of this nation, its culture and in general everything it stand for and embodies. The 'shame' should be on you and your government for the ineptitude and callousness it has shown.

The country is in a state of shock and awe and all you can say is that the terrorists are shameless! What were you expecting Honourable Sir? Jalebis and Rossogollas??

The Prime Minister goes a step further and warns "neighbouring countries who support terrorists of consequences", without daring to name the countries and informing them of the consequences. When a country needed a man to stand up and say that the 'nation was at war, and we will win the war come what may", all we got was a timid Prime Minister evidently reading from a tele prompter and mouthing platitudes like “We will take a number of measures to strengthen the hands of our police and intelligence authorities. We will curb the flow of funds to suspect organisations. We will restrict the entry of suspects into the country. We will go after these individuals and organisations and make sure that every perpetrator, organiser and supporter of terror, whatever his affiliation or religion may be, pays a heavy price for these cowardly and horrific acts against our people,”

Kindly note the preponderance of the word "WILL'. Excuse me , Mr. P.M are we to assume that your government has been waiting for a carnage like this to happen and now you WILL do this and do that. Were the mindless loss of life for the past innumerable years not enough for the govt. to act as you now say you WILL? Who my respected sir, is responsible for the loss of life, destruction of numerous families, loss of property and most of all projecting India that is Bharat, as a soft target for anybody looking for a passage to jannat(heaven, for that is what these jihadis are brainwashed into believing) . Why can this country not ensure a quick getaway to Dozakh (hell) for these terrorists ?? Why can we not accept that Saudi Arabia with its oil money, more than Pakistan, is sponsoring these terrorists and their fundamentalist interpretation of Wahabism, in order to keep their focus away from the issue of control over the holy sites of Mecca and Medina ?

The P.M is also again mouthing ideas like a Federal Intelligence Agency and stuff. It would have been a good joke if lives were not involved. The govt. mouths the same ideas which it knows it is not going to implement, everytime the terrorists create mayhem and a few days later goes back to sleep. Nero was a King of Kings compared to the worthies we have. Atleast he played flute while Rome burnt, whereas our P.M looks in askance for permission to play flute from we all know who! Come on Sir, at least stand up against this menace . The country is behind you whole heartedly, provided you stand up and be counted.

The seriousness with which the govt. has faced terrorism can be judged from the fact that Terrorism was not even on the agenda when the National Integration Council met a couple of months back. This was subsequent to the horror of Ahemdabad and New Delhi. The meeting was ostensibly called to 'discuss' the internal strife between two groups of tribes in Orissa. Apparently the Vatican was displeased with the events in Orissa and therefore the meeting of NIC. The issue of Terrorism was added subsequent to loud protests from the C.M's of the other hue. Is this how we are supposed to face terror?

The entire city of Mumbai in particular and the country in general are being held to ransom by an unknown number of fidayeens, with the common people looking on in horror. The streets throughout the country are quiter than usual without anybody knowing where the next attack is going to come from.It is as if doomsday or Apocalypse has arrived. This is India's 9/11. This is a frontal assault on everything the nation stands for. India is scared, India where Swami Vivekanand said, " Have No Fear, Fear is death, Fear is Sin, Fear is Hell, Fear is Unrighteousness, Fear is Wrong Life." But let us face it, we are scared. Sample the reaction of the cine star Amitabh Bachchan who expressed his fear in his blog, "Last night, as the events of the terror attack unfolded in front of me I did something for the first time and one that I had hoped never ever to be in a situation to do. Before retiring for the night, I pulled out my licensed .32 revolver, loaded it and put it under my pillow. For a very disturbed sleep," Imagine if a man who lives under high security feels like this .........

That the entire machinery was caught offguard can be gauged from the approach of the ATS from the video shots of the late Hemant Karkare and his team. The brave officer is seen to approach the battle ground with his entire team following him as if they are confronting poor farmers sitting on a dharna, rather than a trained bunch of motivated fighters who have undergone commando training. The result is that some of the bravest of the officers have lost their lives whereas a bit of planning would have helped them fight a larger battle for the sake of the nation. Regardless of the brave fight put up, the ATS does have some explanation to do regarding the manner in which these terrorist sneaked in and have created mayhem. And please do not accept the theory of targetting foreigners, western interests and entering the city through small boats. The simple fact is that India has been attacked, once again.

These people would have been in the city for months together making reconissance of the taregetted places. An attack of this magnitude is beyond the capacity of people merely entering the city with rucksacks and letting go. Do not be surprised if these guys were staying in the same plush hotels as guests beforehand, who were merely joined in by attackers from the front gate. The method in which these guys are holding out rubbishes the simple story being played out. Can we have some truth after the crisis is over?

Or is it!!!!

The methodology of hostage taking is the pinnacle of terrorist achievements for besides from using them as human shields, these unfortunate hostages can be used as bargaining chips for deriving maximum leverage (remember Kandahar) and last but not the least, it gets them unlimited media coverage. Media is like the lifeline for any terrorist group in order to propagate their message and instil fear among the populace.

FEAR... we keep coming back to the operative word in any act of terror. Saturated coverage (watch BBC if you do not believe this) by the media of the free world ensures you publicity which no Al Qaida site would do in a life time.

With the risk of being labelled a conspiracy theorist, I perceive this act as a mere dress rehersal for something BIG. Remember the hostage taking in Jammu a few months back and now this. It appears that the terrorists are graduating to a higher level with each experience. I would appeal to our security agencies and the intelligence guys to include this input while analysing the incidence after it is done and over with. Please remember Beslan in Russia where Chechen terrorists took around 400 school students as hostage. The very thought is terrifying, but this in-your-face terrorism has to be confronted.....and defeated.

The nation has reposed faith in its politicians time and again and have been rewarded with this. The politician-bureaucrat- criminal nexus needs to be broken in order to confront this evil. Have we ever given thought to the fact that these terrorists are using the conduits of local criminals who might be sitting abroad but have their kingdoms intact ( does the name of Dawood ring a bell) , to ferry in their arms, ammunition and personnel. These networks ensure safe houses, local intelligence, local personnel for these terrorists. It is an open secret that these criminals are used by politicians to launder their dirty money, win elections in bargain of safety of their illegal business. The bureaucrats as the legendary Shikhandi provide cover to this dirty nexus in exchange of plum 'postings', 'transfer of the irritants (Read the limited honest officers), easy money and stuff. It appears that the nation and its citizens is the least of their concerns. This unholy triumvirate has to be broken, and broken fast.

India has been at the receiving end of these terror attacks for decades now and it is an amazing fact that this country has no special anti terror law . The govt. is pleased as a punch when it states that the existing laws like the National Security Act is enough to confront this scourge . The POTA was scrapped because it was ostensibly against a particular religion. The argument was that even the existence of POTA did not prevent the Akshardham or the Parliament attack. The argument leads one to draw an analogy and ask questions like Dowry deaths inspite of an equally ‘draconian’ anti dowry act (Sec. 498 of IPC), and murders inspite of section 302. Do we mean to say that these laws should be scrapped because of events to the contrary. As to the argument of POTA being used against a particular community based on the statistical evidence of the number of people arrested under it, will please any politician point out the identity of the persons committing these terror acts ? I once again assert my previous statements that terrorism has no religion, so please…please treat a terrorist like a terrorist, not a Hindu or Muslim or Sikh terrorist. Laws do not prevent crime but they ensure punishment for a crime thereby deterring future wannabes. Law is one of the arms to fight a terrorist and let us not fight this modern day asura with one of our arms chopped off. Besides let the judiciary decide on the applicability of the law in each and every case. No law is above judicial scrutiny, is it ?

One of the essential arms in fighting this terror i.e. the Police needs immediate reform. All of us saw the visuals of the brave guys of the ATS enter the battle zone with their outdated bullet proof vests while confronted with an enemy who is trained like an army commando and much more motivated. The ATS or any such force needs special equipments along with special training. The SWAT in the U.S.A is a special police force which tackles such exigencies. I wonder whether the ATS guys are trained on a regular basis judging by their work in the past one month, wherein they had been dragged unnecessarily into a political event. The investigation should be the part of a specialized team and the operations part should be left to the other experts. You cannot have officers like Hemant Karkare ,Vijay Salaskar and Asohk Amte both investigating as well as executing cases. Unfortunately we will not be having them anymore, but will we learn from our mistakes ? We better do, for these brave, nay very brave officers looked like Abhimanyu getting into the Chakravyuha without knowing how to get out of it.

The reform has also to come from within the police officers who have to stand up and be counted . For too long they have played along with the politicians for petty gains but the chickens have come home to roost. Senior police officers are ssen more in high profile parties rather than on their rounds. In small cities and towns the situation is far worse for the senior police officer is like the Mai baap for the place. They will bow before the local politician who generally is a ruffian/criminal, but will thrash a poor man on the street mercilessly. The police officers need to look within.

Mumbai has been brought on its knees. Our soldiers are fighting a very brave battle but the damage has been done. The purpose has been served for the masters as well as the perpetrators. The shrill propaganda of these youngsters having eliminated three of the top anti terror officers as well as holding on against the Army, the MARCOS and the NSG will earn them more recruits. Not for them the reason that the forces are proceeding cautiously in order to minimise collateral damage. They do not prescribe to the Indian ideology of each life being important . They proscribe to the ideology of mindless violence and such propaganda is like a boon from the God.

My thoughts are with the people held hostage and the brave sons fighting to save them. My prayers are with them. May God give them courage.

But this nation will be doing a great disservice to the dead police officers and the common men and women who fell prey to these beasts, if we remain in the shock and awe in which we are right now in. The people have to get up and like Arjuna take the pledge after the death of Abhimanyu to avenge the death of these brave people. The govt. has to be forced to confront this demon. Remember the NATION IS AT WAR. The sooner we understand it, the better.

Like Swami Vivekananda said: “ The goal may be distant, but awake, arise and stop not till the goal is reached.”

Let this message go down to the terrorists that this nation of Ashoka, Samudra Gupta, Akbar, Shivaji, Rana Pratap, Guru Gobind Singh, Bhagat Singh, Jhansi ki Rani will not be cowed down. We will fight for our culture, our spirit, our History and for everything that is INDIA.

Borrowing from Winston Churchill in the face of the advancing German war machinery before the battle of Britain :

“ We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

Amen….

VANDE MATARAM

P.S : My condolences to the families of the brave officers who laid down their lives for the cause of the nation and to those killed in this act of mindless violence.

THE GREAT NORTH INDIAN MARRIAGE

Marriage is perhaps the only industry in India which never faces the threat of recession. Therefore while the BSE index and the Nifty go for a toss, while the Airlines refuse to lower the fares inspite of a massive fall in ATF prices and find no passengers, while the prices of essential items skyrocket inspite of fall in inflation figures (govt. ones of course), the Marriage season is in full bloom in India. If you look around, you will see all Hotels booked out, all caterers engaged, all rental vehicles booked in advance, musical bands booked out months in advance, massive crowds in Saree showrooms.......RECESSION !! What's that ?

Since tis the marriage season I would like to get caught in this fever and bring before you a description of a marriage ceremony and its attendant baggages. Any reader looking for some constructive ideas please desist from proceeding further. Not that the blog usually contains any constructive ideas, but let's not digress any further.

The time is 8:00 P.M in any North Indian city. It is well past the 7:00 P.M deadline indicated in the invitation card for the starting of the Baarat as it is called, but the groom is still roaming around getting ready for the Baarat. Nobody in the family is bothered about the delay since the accepted norm for the baarat to proceed in the country is at least two hours behind schedule for you do not want the bride's family to notice that the groom is too anxious to get married. Marriage after all is an extension of the game of Chess. Mind games you see, never let the opponent realize your anxiety, for then you loose the upper hand. Besides you also do not want the bride's family to be caught unawares, for the mandap for the ceremony is still half ready, the stage for the reception ceremony has fallen short of flowers and most importantly the bride is still in the beauty parlour, getting ready with layers of make up. Obviously, she needs to 'look beautiful' doesn't she ? When you live in India you follow Indian Standard Time, don't you ? Not for us the firang business of respecting time.

The only guys who are restless are the musical band guys for it is a very auspicious day for marriages and this lot has three appointments for the night. The astrologers in India ensure that certain days are declared most auspicious for marriages and getting married on this particular day apparently brings unlimited prosperity to the new couple. This is an added protection after getting the Horoscopes of the couple matched. That a majority of the marriages nowadays end up on the divorce table, is nobody's case, but since this is not a post on social issues, let us proceed. This 'auspicious' day has a particularly auspicious effect on the Pandits performing the ceremonies for they can charge exorbitant amount for the services, the same goes for the aligned sectors, musical bands, marriage houses, caterers, hotels, railways. In economics they call it the Domino effect. The musical band guys are anyway placated with assurance of extra payment and they are content.

Finally by 8:45 P.M the groom is ready and the marriage procession starts its journey towards the marriage house which is located around 1 km away. Since I am not invited to the high profile marriage parties which are held in swanky upmarket hotels I can only describe a marriage which take place in 'marriage houses' which is nothing else but a house with a lawn to hold a certain amount of people .

The procession is now on its way.

The musical band now strikes a beat with the tune "AAJ MERE YAAR KI SHAADI HAI", which is the immortal tune for all marriages. The song which was picturised on Shatrughan Sinha around 3 decades ago still remains the no. 1 spot for marriages and no North Indian marriage can be complete without it. But the purpose for which it is being played i.e the great North Indian marriage dance, fails to pick up. The friends and relatives of the groom are simply loafing around the procession. The groom apprehends disaster, "Will my marriage procession be like a funeral procession?" He mutters to himself. " Why have these idiots come ? Just to eat!" he is irritated to the hilt and calls one of his friends to his side, "Saalon khali khaane aaye ho kya? Yaad nahin tumhari shaadi mein main kitna naacha tha?" ( Have you people come to eat only? Don't you remember how much I danced in your marriages?) It appears that the groom was the resident Helen for marriages.

The friends column now begins to stir . Everybody is trying to drag the other to the dance floor it seems. But the response is not the most enthusiastic. Now the parents of the groom also start worrying about this lack of enthusiasm and start exhorting the relatives for some action of the Prabhudeva type. But the procession is most lethargic although it has occupied the major portion of the road and a traffic jam is slowly building up. In North India the govt. has by a secret order willed the entire road to marriage processions on these marriage days. These are the only days when even the cattle on the roads give up their inalienable right to roam around.

A massive traffic snarl is slowly building up behind this procession. The commuters caught in the jam start remembering the 'Maa-Behens' (mothers and sisters, another North Indian speciality) of the Baaratis. Since it is an auspicious day for marriages most of the commuters are themselves proceeding for some marriage or the other. They will themselves be blocking some road or the other very soon and will be at the receiving end of these abuses, but as long as you are the aggrieved party make the most of it.

One of the friends or cousin of the groom who is scared to death of the dancing ritual and is simply walking along with the baarat now takes over traffic management, thereby indicating his utility to this procession. This fellow makes sure that the groom and his parents notice this good samaritan act and for this purpose he manages the traffic from very near to the groom's car, all the while assuring the groom not to worry about anything. Not that the groom is worried about anything else besides the 'dancing' ritual, but even then this friend shows off his worth. That he himself becomes the target of the abuses thrown by the stranded commuters while managing the traffic is of a lesser concern to him than 'dancing'. Intermittently, he also proceeds towards the front of the baarat pretending to keep the baaratis and the musicians in a queue, so that everybody else also notices his contribution towards the well being of the baarat.

Meanwhile the fire cracker guys have started their job in earnest. Crackers, fluorescent lights are being lighted in the middle of the road. The people crossing the street take evasive actions, motorists stop to avoid the explosion and throw some more curses but what is a marriage procession without these fire crackers, guidelines of the govt. regarding noise pollution, hospitals , the sick, the elderly, be damned. After all "AAJ MERE YAAR KI SHAADI HAI".

The head of the family, usually the elder brother of the groom's father or some other elder walks proudly in front of the baarat, a shawl neatly folded and kept on his shoulder. In these days of nuclear and sub nuclear families, his importance is only nominal like the President of India, which is shown by his walking all alone, but even then he does not want to miss out on marriage food and some nominal ritual respect. Furthermore this marriage will give him an opportunity to crticise the arrangements on both ends, once he gets back home. It will be good fodder for months.

Suddenly the musical band hits jackpot with the immortal song from the movie UPKAAR, " JAHAN CHAUDI CHHATI VEERON KI" (Needs no translation). It is as if the entire brigade of friends and cousins have stepped onto a bed of nails, so vigorous is the dance movements. The marriage dance is completely different to any civilised form of dance anywhere in the world . The dancers put on a show as if there is no tomorrow, hands are flung about, some simply jump up and down, some take out their handkerchiefs and convert it into a beena of a snake charmer. Not to be left behind, some pretend to be snakes and imitate steps from Sridevi's movie Nagina . Some boisterous baaratis have by now clambered onto the shoulders of other fellow baaratis as if there is a wrestling match underway. The groom has now got a grin on his face and looks like a smug cat, the parents are also grinning from ear to ear.

The female baaratis have now been exhorted into action. But their dance steps are more routine and less vigorous for obvious reasons. Their dance ritual their forming a circle and lifting their hands together while moving around an imaginary circle. It is more of a refined "RING- A - RING-A-ROSES", but hey anything goes!! Some of the more healthy ones (Healthy as in highly overweight) join in by simply clapping their hands in encouragement. They are the female counterparts of our friend who is still managing the traffic and pretending to be overworked.

The Party has just started.

The traffic has by now come to a grinding halt, since these dance rituals ensure that a snail could outsprint this procession. But this is how it is supposed to be, isn't it? There is an ambulance with its sirens blaring, some fool had to fall ill today only. But like true sanskari Indian baaratis, the baarat refuses to give way. Maybe they are doing this guy a favour, for he will face hell at the hands of the doctor and his diagnosis and its accompanying paraphernalia which is modern medical science, so why not go to hell straightaway and save yourself the bother?

The baarat after nearly two hours of struggle nears the venue of the marriage. The bride is in the meanwhile getting herself recorded from various angles by the video photographer. It is mostly the profile of her in her bridal finery. This shot is mostly seen in the marriage C.D's in the form of 4 images of the bride juxtaposed around each other with stars all around and the song "EK LADKI KO DEKHA TO AISA LAGA". The great late R.D.Burman must be cursing himself for creating this song.

Anyway, the baaratis then spot the family of the bride waiting to receive them and all hell breaks loose. It is as if they have stepped onto a live electric wire after taking a bath. The dancing motions ( if you can call them that) increase in their ferocity and the movement of the baarat stops completely. It appears that their lives will end the moment they stop dancing, even Hema Malini was not dancing so desperately when Viroo was chained before Gabbar Singh. But this is the final frontier, so make it count.

The movement of the baarat has come to a complete halt.

Inspite of repeated requests of both the brides and the grooms father, the friends and cousins refuse to move forward and carry on with their aerobic exercises, oops... dancing. Every dancer seems to be pushing the other one around, so vigorous is the throwing up off hands. The musical band is playing all the songs in its repertoire for now money is being thrown around by various assortments of uncles of the groom. A baarat is a place where people who haggle for two ruppes with a rickshawaalah throw hundreds of rupees in the air without a care in the world.

Finally the dancers get physically exhausted and troop into the marriage hall to let the real proceedings begin. The marriage is now running around four hours behind schedule, but for us Indians who talk of a heritage of thousands of years and believe in Yugas which consist of millions of years, it is like one Nano drop in the ocean.

The groom is now sitting atop his 'throne' on the reception dais, surrounded by friends who have by now started ogling at the females present on the brides side. This is the courting time and it is no holds barred, whoever can first strike a conversation immediately leaves his friends behind for now these 'ruffians' (you cannot call them friends in front of females) now only have a nuisance value.

The next step in the marriage is the ceremony of garlanding of each other by the bride and the groom or the 'Jaymaal' as it is called. It is the most macho of ceremony for the groom for he refuses to bow down his head for the garlanding by the bride in an act of one upmanship, duly egged on by his friends. At times the bride has to be physically lifted to garland the groom amidst much clapping. The groom pays for this act for stupidity and buffoonery by bowing his head throughout the remainder of his life before his wife. So much so for macho man.

Now the photography session is formally inagurated on the reception dais . Everyone clambers onto the stage and surround the would-be-couple for a snap and if fortunate enough, for video photography. Not everyone gets his mug recorded by the cameraman, which is reserved for the special few. Anyway the photgraphs have a special pattern , the elderly stand in an Aashirwaad (blessing) giving posture, the friends surround the stage as if they have just won a sporting event, some even raise their fingers in the ubiquitous V sign, why..... well nobody knows, but that is the way it happens.

The carpets used on the ramp to the stage are so worn out from use that they defy the law of friction. People on the way up, especially females with their fashionable high heels cannot get a good grip on the carpet and feel a sliding motion, as if the earth is slipping beneath. But the risk of embarrassment due to falling in front of so many people makes them focus even harder, and they somehow manage to reach the summit. Human minds can do the impossible when under duress, and this definitely is one of them.

The food session is one of the best and most awaited events in the marriage. Most of the people are here for the food only, not necessarily for the sake of food but for criticising it, for the moment they step out of the marriage venue they start cribbing, "Accha nahin tha, is se accha to Sharmaji ke yaahan tha, samay barbad hua," ( Food was better and Sharmaji's place, what a waste of time). That they have hogged like a pig and that they said the same at Sharmaji's marriage, is well.. a matter of detail only. Since we Indians have given up on the communal system of feeding at marriages (not the secular-communal, you fools, but the communal where everyone sits together and food is served by family members) , in the similar manner in which we have given up on the joint family system, a queue immediately forms in front of the food stalls. Food is now served by the employees of the caterer, and the serving of a particular item they give at one go is so small that even an ant might die of starvation after eating it. The person who wishes more of the same looks with pleading eyes towards the server for more of it. The derision with which the second serving is provided makes the person receiving it wish that the earth would open up and swallow him , but the thought that he has brought an expensive gift makes him detremined to carry on.

Espresso coffee is also being served. This coffee is much in demand at the marriage ceremonies, more so because beneath an outer cooler layer of foam it is scathingly hot. Innumerable tongues are scalded which results in lesser consumption of food.

The best or the worst part of this queue system (depends on which side you are on) is that it is impossible to go back for a second helping once you have partaked the first round of food, because you will have to enter the queue from behind the last person, and if for example you want a second helping of the delicious chutney, you will have to cross fifteen stalls in a queue which is moving even slower than the baarat, for a bit of chutney. Most of the people, except the bravehearts do not even try.

But the most anticipated of all delicacies is the Ice cream, which is uniformly White in colour. Which flavour? Which Brand? Don't even ask ! Not even the caterer knows this secret. But everbody wants a bit of it. People from 8-80 make a beeline for it, inspite of the fact that the person serving ice cream will pretend that he is spending for it from his own pocket. The slices which are served are thinner than a finger and any attempt for a second serving will ensure sarcastic looks from the server, looks which rob you of dignity, self esteem .......in short Looks which could Kill. This is the item which is finished of the fastest and late comers who were till now saying, " Line khali ho to chalein" (Let the queue thin out) can only curse their luck. People who never spend a single paisa in eating ice cream rush the fastest to this counter and never complain of the size of the slice or the sarcastic looks of the caterer. People with sore throats and fever, convince their family " Ghar chal ke gargle kar lenge" ( will gargle after reaching home). But ice cream they must have !!

The macho youngsters in the meanwhile have no time for coffee and ice cream for they are busy with their Kingfishers and Vodkas. Vehicles accompanying the baarat are placed conveniently for this rendezvous. These macho guys enter the cars surreptitiously and take a swig of the Amrit (nectar) as they call it, and giggle like school girls. Liqour does strange things to the mind and soul, they say.

Meanwhile, the real event for which everyone has gathered i.e the Marriage has also begun unnoticed. The Pandit is chanting verses which nobody understands. Even the Pandit at times is confused as to whether he is chanting the correct mantra for the occasion or not. But since nobody is concerned he carries on nevertheless, vedic mantras and rituals have basically become a formality for authenticating the marriage, nothing more. Intermittently, someone from the groom's side interjects, "Panditji, jaldi kijiye" (Hurry up). This is the best part about Hindu religion, you can ask Panditji to hurry up. Imagine somebody asking the maulavi or the padre to hurry up. Boring people these Christians and Muslims, I tell you.

The bride and the groom give each other the coy look. The rest of the baaratis are sleeping or are on the verge of sleeping. Since the majority of the baaratis have left there are only around 10-15 people left on each side. Some of them are hanging around because they live far off and going home bedecked in jewellery late at night might not be the best ending after a sumptuous meal. There are these fellows who make a living out of snatching and robbing you see! That most of the jewellery adorning the females has its origins in another kind of loot (under the table kind) is besides the point.

Finally after the the rituals which nobody has paid heed to, the ceremony is over. People are woken up from slumber and it is bidaai time as dawn is breaking. The crowd has thinned out even further as day break ensures even more desertions. The father of the bride is by now haggling with the tentwalaahs.

Bidaai is a ritual which is most poignant, but by now everybody is so tired that it is best done and gotten over with. There are only 3-4 of the grooms blood relations and friends who are still accompanying him whereas the brides side consists of females only. The rest have simply disappeared. The weeping bride is bundled into the vehicle and waved off. The bride weeps for one day and makes the groom pay by making him weep for the entire life or maybe she weeps because she now visualises her bleak future after marriage to this fool.

This my friends is the Great North Indian Marriage. What afterwards?

Well let me borrow from the great philospher Socrates,

"My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher".

SOME MORE QUESTIONS

Circa 1946, Mohd. Ali Jinnah was steamrolling his opposition and humanity with his drive for Pakistan. Kashmir was of special interest to Jinnah because of its majority population of Muslims and most importantly its strategic importance. But Jammu and Kashmir which was under the reign of Maharaja Hari Singh was lorded over by another strongman Sheikh Abdullah of the National Conference. Jinnah inspite of his best efforts failed to win over Sheikh Abdullah, and true to his style, launched a vitriolic attack on him, "this man tells me that he is on my side, but when he goes out he calls himself a nationalist. He cannot be trusted." Maybe Jinnah had been pampered by the indulgence of the Congress leaders. But the Sheikh was no Congressman. He retaliated in good measure, "Jinnah is not even a Muslim, he cannot recite a single Kalima from the Quran."

Jinnah faced massive protests wherever he went in Kashmir. In Baramulla,a young National Conference worker Maqbool Sherwani presented Jinnah with a massive garland. The moment Jinnah was about to board his vehicle Sherwani took off the cover of the garland. To Jinnnah's horror the garland was entirely made up of an assortment of footwear. Jinnah immediately left for Rawalpindi.

But evidently Jinnah did not forget this humiliation. For a few months later when the 'tribals' who in reality were the Pakistani army in mufti, launched their incursion, Baramulla faced the brunt. Even the churches were not spared as the missionary sisters were raped and murdered enmasse.What became of the Hindu and Sikh women who had taken shelter there, is a story which was never known.

The Pakistanis after capturing Baramulla were only 30 kms. away from the Srinagar Airport. Maharaja Hari Singh had acceded to India and the Indian forces were on their way. The Srinagar Airport had to be kept free for the Indian forces which had already started landing, but were miniscule compared to the numerical strength of the Pakistanis.

Time was of essence.

Maqbool Sherwani, now pretending to act as an informer promised to show the Pakistanis a shortcut to the Airport.Leading the convoy on his motorcycle he took them on a merry go around and ensured that they lost their way.

The Indian Army took full use of this opportunity and Jammu and Kashmir was saved.

But Maqbool was not.

He was crucified by the infiltrators on an electric pole in Baramulla town by driving nails through his body. He was subsequently brought down in a hail of bullets. Maqbool Sherwani became a martyr for the sake of the nation. Mahatma Gandhi paid tributes to Maqbool Sherwani in his evening prayer meeting.

The Indian Army performed heroic deeds in that campaign, General Thimmaya took his tanks to a height where tanks had not gone before. Hannibal would have been proud. Major Somnath Sharma earned the first Param Vir Chakra in the Indian army during that campaign. That our leaders lost what Maqbool or Major Sharma became martyrs for is besides the point.

What hurts is that were we even educated about the martyrdom of people like Maqbool Sherwani? (I myself read about this supreme sacrifice in an article by a retired army officer, recently.) Or maybe that is what our political elite wanted. For martyrdom has become the preserve of a selected few who rake it for political gains. Elections have been fought over the dead bodies of 'martyrs',with the opponents not even fathoming how to react.That there was a difference between 'martyrdom' and 'political assassination' is well,.... again besides the point.

Today no political leader visits the grave of Maqbool Sherwani is a fact which needs no corroboration. The fact that accusatory fingers were raised at the martyrdom of Inspector M.C. Sharma at the Batla House encounter is an indirect corroborative evidence that this country gives a damn to people who go beyond their call of duty. Even the National Security Advisor M.K.Narayanan has endorsed the authenticity of the encounter but the fact is still not sufficient for some, or so it seems.

The country is today witness to the shameful spectacle to the attempt to denigrate the prestige of the Indian army, subsequent to the arrest of Lt.Col. Purohit by the Anti Terrorist Squad of the Maharashtra Police for his alleged involvement in the Malegaon blast. All and sundry have joined in, albeit subtly. The Indian army, perhaps the only institution which can truly claim to be Secular, which puts duty before self, an institution which is in the vanguard of fighting terrorism, fighting floods, fighting communal riots, fighting the aftermath of earthquake, saving children from their falls into open borewells, has an additional fight at its hand. It has to prove its Secular credentials to the politicians duly abetted by its lackey,in this case the police.

The entire saga started with the arrest of Sadhvi Pragya Singh Thakur, whose Motor Cycle was allegedly used to implant bombs in Malegaon resulting in the death of 5 people. The ATS should be commended for its prompt investigation, especially in view of the fact that not much headway has been made by it in the Malegaon blast of 2006 in which 37 people were killed, apart from the arrest of some SIMI activists or the Mumbai blasts of 2006.

The electronic media is having a field day in covering this investigation, 'HINDU TERROR' says one channel in the background of its presentation, which anyway is saturated. The discussion revolves around how Hindus are also becoming terrorists. Now the ATS is also investigating the involvement of Purohit and Sadhvi in the Samjhauta express blast a few years back, the Nanded blast investigation is being reopened. The way things are proceeding do not be surprised to see the WTC attack, the Mumbai blast of 2006 also being credited to these motley bunch of people. One Dayanand Pandey, an apparently self styled guru has been picked up . The credit of being the 'mastermind' is changing every day. The best part of the investigation pertains to the fact that it appears that the entire interrogation is being performed in front of these busybodies from the news channels. Some body in the ATS is leaking worse than the sinking Titanic, for reasons not for us to conjecture upon. Somebody please remind the ATS guys of discrete investigation being in their professional call of duty . Or is there more to the investigation than meets the eye?

Praveen Swami in THE HINDU, has gone a step ahead and done a complete analysis of the genesis of 'Hindu Terrorism', notwithstanding the fact that certain literature which was used during the freedom struggle has been selectively interpreted. These people are not far from branding Khudiram Bose and Prafulla Chaki at par with the goons from Jaish-e-Mohd and Lashkar-e-Taiba.

Incidentally, a few weeks ago, our friends from the media were stressing upon the need to delink terrorism from religion and stuff like Islam not sanctioning acts of terrorism. Now words like 'HINDU TERROR' are casually being bandied about. My congratulations to these media guys. But please feel free to use the epithet of 'Muslim Terrorism' next time Muslim Terrorists attack a predominantly Hindu India, in order to follow norms of fairplay and avoid accusations of double standards.

Congratulations again on succeeding in dividing terrorists into Hindu and Muslims. It is the mindless urge like this to increase TRP ratings which provides criminals of all hues ammunition to incite fellow criminals, my dear friends, but do we really care? For years our media friends justified acts of terror as 'revenge for Gujarat riots' or 'revenge for the Babri Masjid demolition' and castigated people like L.K.Advani, Narendra Modi, RSS, more than the terrorists themselves. Drawing on the same analogy of revenge can a Hindu child/youth affected by acts of terrorism not seek revenge from the people he feels to be behind the acts of terror ? Any answers ? An act of terror is an act against humanity irrespective of the logic behind it and so it should have been, but in our yearning for votes, sale of books, acceptability amongst the pseudo liberal media, look at the mess we have gotten into.

One issue is intriguing and maybe the ATS or anyone else will clear the air on this. Apparently the motor cycle of Sadhvi Pragya Singh Thakur was used to place explosives in Malegaon, the discovery of which has led to these arrests. If the same is true then it must act as a disgrace to the tribe of the criminals, since you are not supposed to leave any evidence at the scene of the crime, let alone using explosives on your own motorcycle. How disingenuous!! If an armyman, who also worked for the Military intelligence, was also part of this naivety, then I call upon the govt. to disband the Military Intelligence unit ........our ATS guys do better.

But we as a country do not want questions but only answers, therefore the 'Army is getting communal' , 'Hindu Terror', 'Save Afzal Guru' campaign prevails over logic and reasoning. For example any answers to the fact that any bombing attack needs months of meticulous planning even for trained army personnel, an organisation, training, reconnaissance missions. If the motley, unconnected group of people such as the accused in the Malegaon blast could carry it off, then only God can save us from the Al Qaida and its friends.

Let us not forget the sacrifice made by unsung heroes like Maqbool Sherwani and Major Som Nath Sharma for the unity and integrity of the nation. Our politicians might stop eulogising them but let us pay our respect to these real heroes by not dividing terrorists into Hindu terrorists or Muslim Terrorists and damaging the interest of the nation. A Terrorist is a terrorist and should be dealt by the rule of law. Elections might come and elections might go, but the country and its institutions remain.

The Indian Army remains awake so that we can sleep. Let us not denigrate the brave sons of the soil for the sake of a few votes.

JAI HIND.

JUNGLE BOOK-- VANAR RAJ

WITH SINCERE APOLOGIES TO RUDYARD KIPLING.

We pick up the story some years later from where Rudyard Kipling left it. Mowgli had come back to the forest, unable to adjust in the maddening world outside the jungle. At least the 'law of the Jungle' prevailed inside the jungle, while outside, well.....

Since humans had ensured that massive encroachment had been undertaken on forest land leading to deforestation,there were only patches of forest land (vanas) available in the country. After the demise of Sher Khan in the struggle with Mowgli, the central authority which kept everybody in check had fallen away leading to a virtual free for all. Finally the monkeys prevailed, and now lorded over all the vanas. Balloo the bear and Bagheera the panther, the faithful companions and guide of Mowgli, had retreated into the background and were leading the life of a recluse. Kaa the snake had been skinned alive by some humans because its skin made good purses for the ladies in Europe (PETA had not been born and Maneka Gandhi was still a model).

The anarchy in the vanas had reached such a stage that the monkeys of one vana were completely opposed to the monkeys of another one, and continued in their diatribe against each other. Each monkey leader claimed to be the real protector of the rights of the animals, but in reality cared two hoots for them. Not a cry was raised in protest when monkeys from the vanas of neighbouring countries raided the vanas of Bharat, and caused indescribable mayhem, for example these 'atanki' vanaras as they were called, set termites on tree branches which would break off at the slightest weight causing loss of life and property. No monkey clan was confident as to whether it could sleep peacefully on the same tree after return from their daily activity of harassing other animals. But no monkey talked about this 'atankawad' ,as they were too busy fighting amongst themselves.

At this very time in the vana of Rashtra Maha (remember we are talking of the sub divisions of Bharat Vanas) lived an upstart monkey by the name of VANAR RAJ. Vanar Raj incidentally belonged to the clan of another ferocious monkey BAL BAL BACH GAYE (Saved by the skin of the teeth), who was famous for his imitation of the voice of the roaring Lion. Well actually the roar was more of a purring of a cat, but as who is to bell a cat, who could dare to say the truth in front of B.B.B.Gaye .But the animals had a good laugh behind his back.

Vanar Raj always had dreams of emulating Bal Bal in scaring animals and causing havoc in the forest, but since primates are the predecessors of human beings, there are certain qualities in common, like filial affection overpowering bhai bhatijawad. So in this case, the claim of Vanar Raj in leading the hordes in causing destruction in Vana Rashtra Maha was superseded by the son of Bal, which led to resentment in the mind (or whatever he had) of Vanar Raj. He shrieked,bit,attacked but to no avail. Bal would not give way.

Seeing the wisdom of Bal in sidelining this upstart who in order to please Bal had started imitating the roar of Lion (the animals would have died of laughing at two cats,instead of one ), the animals gave a sigh of relief and said 'bal bal bach gaye' (saved by the skin of the teeth).

But Vanar Raj bided his time.

In the meanwhile Mowgli had fallen onto bad times. In the vanas of Vihara and Uttam Pradesh where he divided his time, monkeys of equal ferocious nature ruled. These monkeys were even worse than the monkeys of Rashtra Maha as they did nothing for the animals inhabiting these vanas. Vihar Vana was ruled by a very shrewd monkey Balloo bandar and Uttam Pradesh was ruled by a female monkey Khayawati who was legendary for her elephant like memory. Khayawati spent all her time in trying to hunt down her adversaries, the Siamese twin monkeys Motu and Chotu, her populace be damned.

Balloo bandar had become the darling of all the vanas because of his antics, which in reality was a cover up for his failure to perform his duties as the ruler of the vanas. He had even devoured the fodder meant for the horses and cows. But very shrewdly covered it up with his buffoonery. Mowgli loved Balloo for his antics,inspite of Bagheera warning him against falling for this theatrics."A leader should be known for his vision and care for his praja, rather than his jokes" Bagheera would say whenever Mowgli went to see him, " a leader fooling his people with jokes, is a dangerous leader", Bagheera would say drawing on his huge experience coupled with his love for the vanas. Mowgli, who was enamoured by the wit of Balloo the bandar,thought of Bagheera as a cantankerous old animal,whenever he said so. "Maybe he is jealous of Balloo the bandar", Mowgli would say to himself.

Animals in these vanas had been divided into sects based on their colour,teeth and other such outward manifestations. For example a tiger with 10 stripes was categorised as a different sect from the one with 9 stripes, a brown coloured wolf was informed about him being different from a light brown coloured one. These monkeys did not care about deforestation, encroachment and stuff. Neither did they care to appreciate the merit of the brave animals who thought about the betterment of the vanas.

Resultantly, the humans started encroaching into the vanas, and fruits and other products in the food chain started declining rather appreciably in the vanas of Vihara and Uttam Pradesh. The animals per force started to migrate towards the vanas of Rashtra Maha where things were relatively better, in spite of Vanar Raj and his cohorts.

But these migrant animals met with stiff resistance in the Vanas of Rashtra Maha. "You will take away our food", "you will spoil the environment in our vana",was some of the responses they faced. " Our Vana Manoos will be deprived of their due", shrieked Vanar Raj.

Mowgli was respected by the animals (apart from the monkeys, who looked at him as a threat) , and it is to him they turned towards in this hour of threat. " Do not worry,they are our brothers,they will not harm us", Mowgli would console them as well as himself.

Bagheera and Balloo (the bear,not the bandar) begged to differ. "Mowgli, you have the brains as well as the brawns to resist this injustice, if you do not rise now, it will be too late",they would advice.

But Mowgli paid no heed. He was busy enjoying the laughter challenge of Balloo the bandar and the vendetta saga of Khayawati, which was propagated to far corners of the vana through the medium of the speaking parrots,the Cockatoos.

Nature has the strange habit of getting even with people who do not pay attention to their environment, and so it happened to Mowgli. Things which were bad to start with started getting worse. The antics of Balloo the bandar and Khayawati along with the massive helping hand of Chotu and Motu ensured that the food chain was massively disrupted in Vihar and Uttam Pradesh vanas. Even ripe fruits were in scarcity,and whatever was available was devoured by followers of the leaders,leaving the other animals in the lurch.

The news soon reached these Vanas about some ripe fruits which were on offer in Rashtra Maha vana. Mowgli made up his mind about trying to get some ripe fruits on offer along with other timid animals who were however apprehensive of Vanar Raj and his aptly named Vanar Sena.

But hunger does strange things to even the most scared of animals. So the animals made up their mind to try their luck. Bagheera and Balloo the bear came to see off Mowgli and the other animals before they proceeded. There was no sign of Balloo the bandar, who as the Cockatoos informed was busy challenging Vanar Raj to a verbal duel. Mowgli felt the pangs of guilt about his previous inference about Bagheera when he had warned him about Balloo the bandar. He hugged Bagheera and wept openly. But being a human he was still ashamed of accepting his mistake openly.

Bagheera, however understood.

" Go my son and may the almighty be with you", Bagheera said," and remember the simple fact that Bharat vana is one and belongs to all of us, so do not be scared of anybody."

Mowgli and the other animals reached Rashtra Maha vana with trepidation. Expectedly, an extremely hostile reception awaited them.

" Go back you hungry animals", the members of Vanar Sena shrieked,"why don't you eat fruits in your vana rather than take away fruits from our Vana Manoos?" they continued.

The trembling animals of Vihar Vana and Uttam Pradesh vana looked towards Mowgli in askance. After all being human he was expected to face these tricky situations with his intellect and courage.

For the first time in his life Mowgli felt helpless. He had refused to listen to Bagheera when he spoke of the dangers of accepting charlatans as leaders, and now the chickens had come home to roost. Mowgli had made the policy of silence into a virtue and only laughed at Balloo the bandar's antics and discussed Khayawati's revenge. He had never given thought for the betterment of his vana. Now he realized that animals like Balloo the bandar laughed at animals like him rather than with them . But it was too late now. He and his friends were hungry.

Mowgli mustered courage and spoke, " we are hungry and there are no fruits in our vanas,not even ripe ones. And we will not eat all the ripe fruits in your vana, as there is plenty for everybody. For the sake of uniformity, we can have a competition where everybody gets an equal opportunity to eat these ripe fruits. If your animals can eat more ripe fruits,we will not protest and go back"

It sounded like a sane solution. The animals looked in awe towards Mowgli.

The Vanar sena was nonplussed.They had not expected any resistance from these weaklings. They looked towards each other. Bullies really do not know how to react in case of resistance. They are mighty only when not opposed.

" So competition is what you want, eh?" a voice rang out !!

The vanar sena suddenly parted and gave way, VANAR RAJ had arrived.

Surprisingly, Mowgli felt no fear. He had expected Vanar Raj to be a mighty warrior from the description of the Cockatoos, but he seemed like any other monkey.

" Why do you come so afar to eat fruits meant for our vana manoos ?" Vanar Raj's tone was threatening ," why don't you stay in your vanas and eat the fruits available there", Vanar Raj continued.

"Because there is nothing available there, and isn't Rashtra Maha vana part of Bharat vanas, so why this discrimination?" Mowgli countered.

" So why don't you tell your leaders there to make fruits available in your vanas also, but you will not do that, will you? You will simply come to our vanas and eat whatever is available here. I will not let that happen anymore!" Vanar Raj was emphatic in his statement.

Mowgli could sense that Vanar Raj had a point, for monkeys like Balloo, Khayawati, Chotu, Motu and their ilk had simply exploited the resources available in their vanas and done absolutely nothing for their improvement. The fruit crop had simply dwindled without any body giving a damn. But Mowgli also realized that it was no use blaming these selfish individuals for it was humans like him and other mute animals who had given them a free run. nobody had dared to question their actions in time and now .........

But there was no way back, " I know that we have not stood up to our leaders, but fact also remains that you too do not have the interests of the common animal at your heart when you stop us from eating fruits, for all these vanas belong to all of us, and you have no business to stop us from eating fruits available here. What happens if tomorrow we stop animals from your vanas entering our vanas on any filmsy context. I request you to desist from dividing animals. The Bharat vanas are under threat from humans, vanas of neighbouring countries. Let us stay united rather than fight amongst ourselves", Mowgli said.

" How dare you, you impudent human! Now even you have started speaking like a leader. And I cannot have two leaders in the same vana. This vana is for our vana manoos. Be prepared to face the consequences if you don't vacate our vana immediately," Vanar Raj showed all his teeth in anger. His cohorts started shrieking in unison. The atmosphere was very scary.

The animals of Vihar vana and Uttam Pradesh vana were scared. After all no Balloo the bandar or Khayawati would come to save them, neither would they give them fruits if they went back.The choice was between the devil and the deep blue sea.

Mowgli knew that the moment of truth had arrived. Regrettably, he realized that things would have been different, if he had paid heed to the advice of Bagheera and acted accordingly. Monkeys of the sort of Vanar Raj , Balloo, Khayawati etc.cannot be allowed to control the destiny of the vanas, for they have no thing except their own interests to serve.

Then the Vanar Sena attacked. The rest of the animals of Vihar Vana and Uttam Pradesh ran helter skelter. The attack was most severe on Mowgli, for Vanar Raj knew where the real danger emanated from. They tried to tear off the chaddi (loin cloth) of Mowgli for it was the only possession he had. The chaddi covered his modesty, self esteem, self respect. Vanar raj knew that a self respecting individual who had loads of confidence and self esteem was dangerous.

Mowgli fought with all his courage and strength.He was surprised to discover the strength he never realized he had. Maybe a cause gives you the power to fight back. But it was difficult to fight such monsters all alone, for his friends had abandoned him.

But true friend don't abandon you, do they? Just as Mowgli felt that he was going to be overpowered, help arrived in the form of Bagheera and Balloo the bear. United they fought back the attack of the Vanar Sena and retreated gracefully. In the heat of the battle, Mowgli thought that he saw Balloo the bandar, Khayawati, Chotu and Motu arrive on the scene and join hands with Vanar Raj. Mowgli thought that he was hallucinating due to fatigue and consoled himself.......Was he ??????

Mowgli is now recovering his strength and learning the nuances of vanahood under the able guidance of Bagheera and Balloo the bear.

Vanar Raj, Balloo the bandar, Khayawati, Chotu and Motu are getting sleepless nights over the comeback of Mowgli.

A man awake is a man dangerous.

EK APRINDA HAI SHARMINDA, THA WO NANGA ! AJI IS SE TO ANDE KE ANDAR THA WO CHANGA ! SOCH RAHA HAI BAHAR AAKHIR KYON NIKLA HAI!! ARRE CHADDI PAHAN KE PHOOL KHILA HAI .............

Disclaimer : This is a work of fiction. However my apologies to sentiments of the monkeys hurt unintentionally.

THE WAIVER

NEWS REPORT: CIVIL AVIATION MINISTER PRAFFUL PATEL MIFFED AT CABINET COLLEAGUES

Excerpts from an interview given by the civil aviation minister Shri Prafful Patel to a newspaper, "I am very disappointed with some central ministries and state governments for not lowering tax rates and jet fuel prices. Tomorrow if planes stop flying, who will be responsible?"

Cut to a scene in front of the residence of the minister, two days later.

There is a chaotic situation in front of the residence with a group of farmers trying to enter the residence and the entry to the residence of the 'People's Representative' being barred by extremely hostile security personnel, as usual. The news reaches the Head Quarters of a 24 hours news channel and immediately a posse of electronic media personnel reach the residence of the Hon'ble. Sensing that this could provide sufficient material for the news channels to broadcast throughout the day, and furthermore with the Lok Sabha elections around the corner,the support staff of the minister relents and permits the group of farmers to enter the residence. Apparently, facing the group of 50 farmers is easier than managing the negative fallout of the media coverage, or so the staff presume.

However the minister acquiesces to meet only the leader of the group. Eknath, the leader of the group is ushered into the study of the minister. The minister enters the room accompanied by his O.S.D (Officer on special duty) who is an IAS officer, on deputation to work with the minister.

After the initial exchange of pleasantries, the minister who does not appear very pleased at the sight of Eknath, who is wearing a simple shirt and trouser to go along with his down town sandals, asks "Yes Eknath, tell me about the purpose of your visit. But please tell me about yourself before you begin."

" I am the Pradhan of the village Dhulepur in the Yavatmal district of Maharashtra, which is in the Vidarbha region of the state", Eknath who looked no more than 30-35 years of age, began speaking.

The O.S.D was startled at the mention of the name of the village and whispered something into the ear of the minister, who looked keenly at Eknath.

"Accha, the same village which was put up for sale by its inhabitants and where farmers organised a protest by offering their kidneys for sale", The minister enquired.

"Yes sir", Eknath replied.

"Strange people, OK tell me, what brings you people to meet me?" the minister was curious.

" Because you are the last remaining hope we have", Ekanth replied.

"Come again! Hope !! My dear friend, I am the Civil aviation minister, not the Agriculture minister. It appears that you have come to the wrong address," the minister sounded pleased for getting free from these villagers so soon.

" No sir, I have come to the right place. It is you who we wanted to meet. And before you feel puzzled, let me tell you that we were impressed by the concern you showed for the well being of the aviation sector. Not many ministers are going to risk a confrontation with their colleagues in the manner you did, through your interview", Eknath clarified.

The minister as is their wont, was pleased at this appreciation, "Yes, yes, I said what I felt. After all Jet Airways had laid off 1900 employees in one day due to losses caused by faulty practices by the govt. towards this fledgling sector. I had to intervene on behalf of these people and get them reinstated. The aviation industry is being bled to death. They have sought for a bailout plan of Rs. 4700 crores and the govt. is dithering over this proposal. The aviation sector is like the new born baby which needs caring and caressing by its mother," the minister was emphatic in his statement.

The OSD as is their wont, nodded in deep appreciation. Eknath felt that he saw tears in the eye of the OSD after the minister finished speaking.

"Baby indeed, Mr. Minister, but what about the elders in the family? I want you to speak about the elders in the family too," Eknath spoke respectfully.

"Elders? What elders?", the minister was confused, "Arre, I was giving an example. You see this is how economists speak. They make you understand economics through lucid examples".

"I know sir, I am a post graduate in Economics from Delhi School of Economics. Incidentally my Ph.D is on 'Rural economics in Independent India', so I know a bit of economics," Eknath was one confident individual.

The O.S.D nearly fell from the chair on hearing Eknath's credentials.

The minister was also mighty impressed.

" So what are you doing there in the village ? " the minister enquired.

" Well, doing my bit for the country!" Eknath was quite clear about his priorities, "anyway sir, as you wanted to know about the elders in the family whom I want you to stand up for, let me tell you that I was referring to the Agriculture sector. I think you would agree that if Civil aviation is the baby then agriculture is the elder in the family. Isn't it your responsibility to protect the elders along with the babies ? Agreed that we should be worried about 1900 employees losing their jobs, but shouldn't we also be worried about more than 1100 farmers committing suicide in the Vidarbha region, this year alone? Aren't lives equally important?"

"But the Finance Minister has provide waivers for the agriculture sector in this years budget. The govt. is equally concerned about the farming sector, my friend. You needn't worry!" the O.S.D put in his bit.

"Needn't worry!!! Sir do you realize that thousands of farmers are taking their own lives not only in Vidarbha, but places like Anantpur in Andhra Pradesh and many other parts of the country", Eknath countered.

" But the Finance minister has provided waivers, hasn't he?", the O.S.D countered.

"The loan waivers offered by the Finance Minister were a sham !" Eknath retaliated.

" Sham! You know what you are talking about, young man?" The minister retorted.

" I do Sir, and I will tell you how", Eknath continued, "the Finance minister sanctioned loan waivers for the farmers who had taken loan from banks and who were having a land holding of more than two hectares ."

" So what else do you want? You want the govt. to write off all the loans taken by farmers irrespective of their assets . Why do farmers only whine and make no efforts to improve their lot?", the O.S.D was being cheeky.

This infuriated Eknath, but years spent in the rural country side had taught him to patient with this govt.machinery. Their indifference and apathy towards the agriculture sector had led it to ruin. After all hadn't the C.M of Maharashtra, Vilas Rao Deshmukh at a public meeting in Vidarbha called the farmers 'lazy', thereby insinuating that they were to themselves to be blamed for their misfortune. So Eknath understood that this 'farmers not working' bit was a bureaucratic mindset. These bureaucrats after their initial 'training' schedule in the villages, which was compulsory, abhorred the sight of the villages.

" Why do people like Naresh Goyal and Vijay Mallya whine and not do something about their business ventures? Why does the govt. sneeze when these individuals catch cold?" Ekanath returned the favour.

The O.S.D was flabbergasted. "How dare you! What do you mean? You mean...." the O.S.D was incoherent. He had not expected this riposte from Eknath.

" I mean what I say. You politicians are so worried about the failure of a 'bad' business model that you are willing to invest 'public money' collected in the form of taxes from the common people to bail out industrialists. Just a few months back you were going gaga over the success of the Civil aviation sector. What happened in the interim, sir? And by the way did these Hon'bles share their profits with the public when they were making money?If not, why should the public money be used to bail them out?" Eknath queried.

"But didn't they provide cheap tickets @Rs500, so that the common people could travel by airways?" the minister was back at his populist best.

"That was simply bad policies sir. And by the way did the common man plead before them for air travel. You as well as I know that these measures were taken to entice a new generation of travellers to air travel, so that people could get hooked up and not mind paying up Rs. 10,000 for the next round of travel. Now when the policy has backfired, the Govt wants to bail them out. Will you now bail out the street corner grocer if he starts doling out freebies to his consumer and then his business collapses? For nearly two decades the theory of 'free businees' without any govt. control was flouted, and unbridled consumerism encouraged. Now suddenly we get back to 'Socialism being best for the country', do we? " Eknath was now flowing like the monsoon river in spate, " the Hon'ble Vijay Mallya has brought a Formula 1 Racing team, took over Deccan Airways, is on the verge of buying an English Football club, got into a spree of buying air crafts and what not, but now needs the common man's money to finance his extravagances. Is this not a joke?"

"But haven't the farmers been provided the loan waivers? Shouldn't you be content?" the minister tried to change track.

" So let me now tell you about the sham which I was earlier referring to. The Finance Minister announced farm loan waivers for farmers with land holdings of more than 2 hectares, whereas an average land holding size in Vidarbha is 3.03 acres or 7.5 hectares. 50% of the farmers own land which is larger than which applies for the waiver. There are Adivasis who own around 10 hectares of land. But the ground reality is that most of the land is unproductive and unirrigated. For those with over two hectares, there is the old deal of 'one-time settlement' of their bank loans. In this case, if they repay 75 per cent of the loan, they will be given a rebate of 25 per cent. Only very large farmers will gain from this. If the farmers could pay 75 per cent of their dues, they wouldn't be committing suicide. Furthermore those farmers who fall within the two-hectare limit, only a small group has access to bank credit. Factually the private money lenders rule the roost and there is no respite for the farmers from these blood suckers" Eknath emphasised.

The O.S.D felt a certain dryness in throat. He prayed that the minister would not ask him to counter this heavy duty stuff, for he had no idea as regards to this. This Eknath nuisance had to be gotten rid off, and gotten rid fast.

But there was no way Eknath could be stopped," And Mr.Minister what I am stating is from the govt. records and can be corroborated from there. The waiver will simply benefit farmers in Western Maharashtra i.e the sugarcane belt which belongs to the agriculture minister. So while Vidarbha and Anatpur burn, you send the fire brigade to fill a swimming pool. ingenious isn't it?"

The minister had by now lost patience with this young man," So you want the govt. to pardon all the bad debt of the agriculture sector,don't you. Farmers will take loan and then not pay back, isn't it? And we suppose we close down all other industries?" the minister now resorted to sarcasm.

" Sir how long will you people keep on playing industry against agriculture? Can both of them not be partners in progress? The development of any economy cannot be predicated on any one sector. Both swim or sink together. Let me remind you that the development of the country has its genesis in the First Green revolution. The rural sector gradually developed and subsequently the industry and the manufacturing sector reaped its benefits some time later on. You cannot sell anything if the consumer does not have the power to buy it. Isn't it? And let me remind you that the nationalised banks 'write off'' bad debts to the tune of thousands of crores every year. And incidentally most of this debt is owned by industrialists who are pretty awesome names and a regular on the political circuit. Do I need to remind you that bad debt to the tune of 60 crores was written of for a Ketan Parikh company, sometime in 2004. But when it comes to farmers it becomes 'bad debt'!!"

Eknath could not be stopped. The common man was fighting back," Sir the govt. provides around Rs. 50 worth subsidy on an LPG cylinder and acts as if it is doing the consumers a favour, but then on the other hand you people call for reduction of taxes on ATF without a care in the world. Why are corporate interests flouted as public interests? Yesterday I heard the owner of a travel company on TV referring to the fact that if the airlines stop functioning some body's sick mother will not be able to be taken for treatment of Cancer to the TATA memorial Hospital in Mumbai."

"He was right , wasn't he?" the O.S.D retorted.

"Mr. OSD, if you wish you could accompany me to any primary health centre in the country and locate one doctor who is on duty for more than two days in a week, for a few hours at the most. Do you even know or think of this fact . And how many people in this country can afford air travel, even if for the sake of argument, however flawed, that tickets will be available at Rs. 500 with govt assistance. Get real Sir!" Eknath spoke.

The minister and his lackey were by now exasperated, so what do you want?" the minister said.

" Nothing, now my suspicion is confirmed When you people never felt any pain when we villagers offered our villages or kidenys for sale to highlight our grievances, what can you do anyway? You people cannot or are not willing to do anything for the common masses of the country who toil away honestly, at whatever they do. Expecting you people to show concern and act accordingly, is like asking an Eskimo to sell air conditioners. The only hope is for the people to stand up for themselves. Looking in askance towards the govt.will not suffice. But that will also take some doing since they have been alienated from each other in the name of caste, religion, industry, farmer,rural, urban. But people like me will keep working till that happens and happen it definitely will !!" Eknath was patience personified.

Just then the OSD's cellphone rang, " Ji Mallya sahab, yes we are on the way. I know your personal aircraft is waiting for us. So sorry to keep you waiting. You see, there has been a needless delay......"

Ekanth by then was on his way back, Sprite as ever, head held high.

NIRBAL KI LADAI BALWAN SE, YE KAHANI HAI DIYE KI AUR TOOFAN KI (This is a fight between the weak and the mighty, this is a story of the lamp and the storm)

Disclaimer: This discussion never took place and is a work of fiction . But then again, this discussion is taking place in the hearts of millions of Indians or so I feel.

Note: The post is inspired by the tremendous work of Shri P.Sainath of the newspaper THE HINDU, who is fighting a lonely battle (amongst the media) for the agricultural sector. My salutations.

SECULARISM --INDIAN VERSION

SECULARISM: The belief that consideration of the present well being of Mankind should take precedence over religious considerations in civil affairs or public education. (source : Webster's dictionary)

THE BACKGROUND

The Constitution of India was passed by the Constituent Assembly on November, 1949 and came into effect on January 26, 1950. It declared The Union of India to be a sovereign, democratic, republic, assuring its citizens of justice, equality, and liberty; the words "socialist" and "secular" were added to the definition in 1976 by the 42nd constitutional amendment, during the emergency imposed by Smt. Indira Gandhi.

The premise with which we start this discussion leads us to believe that India adopted Secularism as a matter of state policy subsequent to the year 1976, when it was incorporated as a part of our Constitution. The fact that the founding fathers of the Constitution did not find it necessary to introduce this belief as a matter of state policy speaks volumes with regards to the fact of the concept of Secularism being part of the Indian psyche and engrained in our thoughts, and therefore needing no further assertion.

History is witness to the fact that theocracy was never a part of the policy/affairs of the Indian state from times immemorial. Although religion played a very important role in the lives of the citizens, it was kept away from the affairs of the state. The state per se remained completely Secular. Religion remained restricted to the temples and other places designated for it, the Purohit remained separate from the Mantri. India never fought Crusades for the sake of propagating religion.

In fact, the only period of time when the state propagated a particular religion as a matter of state policy was when Ashoka endorsed Buddhism. Ashoka after his experience during the Kalinga war used his army for the propagation of the edicts of Buddhism. One of the major reasons for the decline and fall of the Mauryan empire could be attributed to this intertwining of religion and the state.

In India although the stress was laid on the concept of Dharma, this dharma pertained to duties rather than religion. A king was supposed to adhere to his Rajya dharma, i.e his duties and obligations towards his people and not religion.

THE IMPLEMENTATION

1989 remains a watershed year for the 'Secularism' we witness today. An elderly Muslim lady, Shah Bano sought alimony from her husband. The case had been in the courts for years. In 1989, the Supreme court applying section 125 of the Criminal procedure code, granted her alimony. All hell then broke loose, since there was no common law for personal matters, the Hindu personal act applied for Hindus and the Muslim personal law for the Muslims. Even today, the country does not have a common codified civil law.

The erstwhile Prime Minister Late Rajiv Gandhi initially made a spirited defence of the Court's ruling. Arif Mohd. Khan, a minister in the ruling govt. made an impassionate appeal in the Parliament in support of the Court's decision. But this spirit soon evaporated and life was back to square one. The P.M backed out in the face of resistance from the fundamentalists. That he was under fire politically, because of the Bofors issue did not help matters. The govt. brought in an amendment to annul the court's ruling. Shah Bano was not the only looser in this charade. The fundamentalists had smelt blood. The message that votes matter much more than policy was affirmed.

Secularism could wait, Elections could not !!

Bending down before fundamentalists is a double edged sword, for you cannot be seen to be pandering to one community only, since it is not one community alone which makes the hard walk to the voting booth.

The late Rajiv Gandhi started his election campaign later that year from Ayodhya with a call to usher in 'Ram Rajya', the very idea of which was anathema to his grandfather, Jawahar Lal Nehru, the first P.M of India.

The politics of fatwa made its appearance in force for the first time during the elections in 1989, when V.P Singh obtained the blessings of the Shahi Imam. Fatwas have been integral part of secular Indian polity ever since.

With the passage of time, the word Secularism has lost its meaning completely.

The govt. of India (whichever govt. it may be) pays Haj subsidy to Muslim pilgrims going on their annual Haj pilgrimage, pays subsidy to minority educational institutions whereas the law prohibits any govt. grant to institutions imparting religious education. So a school teaching Hindu scriptures does not get any grant from the govt. whereas a madarasa, teaching we all know what, gets grants from govt., ostensibly on it being a minority educational institution. The policy of Reservation does not apply to minority educational institutions.

Whatever the intention behind introducing Secularism as a part of our constitution, today it has become the last refuge of the politicians, who fall back upon the cliche of 'Secularism' while hiding their misdeeds. Therefore, the Sacchar commission can make recommendations regarding giving reservations to Muslims in govt. jobs, posting Muslim teachers in colleges in Muslim dominated areas. The pretext being that this will ensure greater representation to the minority community in govt. services and bring them into the mainstream.

The moment the idea of dividing people on the basis of religion, by providing jobs based on their religion is challenged, the person is branded as 'Communal' and treated as an outcast. No politician worth his salt is willing to answer the query regarding the necessity of reservations on the basis of religion more than 60 years of Independence. Why has no effort been made to provide quality education by the govt. schools free of cost or at subsidised rates? Quality education to all citizens irrespective of their religion would have negated the very need to reserve post for a Hindu or a Muslim. It might sound simplistic, but education open doors for progress, not Secularism as practiced by the politicians.But then again, an educated citizenry might see through this farce being played out in the name of secularism and stuff, so why educate?

The same logic of equal representation was played out during the Morley Minto reforms of 1909. The British through this reform introduced the concept of separate communal representation in the Legislative assemblies. Therefore a Muslim candidate was to be elected by Muslim voters only. The Congress opposed this move to divide people on the basis of religion, but after the Lucknow pact of 1916, acceded to this idea. The genesis of the division of the country in 1947 can be traced to this pact. But then we don't remember our History very well do we??

Even the war on terror is being seen through the prism of the so called Secularism. Therefore the Shahi Imam can come to Saraymir in Azamgarh to express his solidarity with the family of Bashir, who was arrested for the terror attacks in various parts of the nation. The Shahi Imam can then brazenly claim that Inspector M.C.Sharma who was killed in the Jamia Nagar encounter was killed by the police themselves, in order to frame the Muslims. As far as conspiracy theories go, this statement is at par with the findings of the U.C.Banerjee commission which arrived at the conclusion that the train at Godhra was burnt from the inside by the kar sevaks themselves. But any one opposing the statement of the Shahi Imam or questioning the U.C. Banerjee commission about the reason why hundreds of people surrounded the train while it burnt and not helping the burning passengers is bound to be labelled 'Communal'.

Explosions in various parts of the country have become so routine that any single day which passes of peacefully is treated as an aberration and people are apprehensive about the next day bringing something even more grave. The security agencies who as it is are undermanned, demoralised and lack clear directives, are being made to conform to the Indian standards of 'Secularism'. The National Human Rights Commission has questioned the encounter at Jamia Nagar and openly accuse the police of targeting a 'particular community'. The same people never empathise with the victims of terrorism or the Kashmiri Pandits forcibly driven away from their homes.

The proposition of targeting a particular community would have been laughable, if it was not so dangerous. My request to these Hon'bles is to look around and 'get real'. Even the progenitor of terrorism, Pakistan is feeling the heat from this Frankenstein, and so are countries like Saudi Arabia, Algeria, Egypt. But nowhere does this shrill cry of targeting ' a particular community' while fighting terrorism raised.Bombs do not differentiate while killing innocents, be it the mosque in Hyderabad and Malegaon, or the Sankat Mochan temple in Varanasi, or the Akshardham temple in Gujarat.

At times it appears that the bombs practice more Secularism since it does not differentiate between a Hindu, Muslim or Sikh, whereas our institutions differentiate everything into religious categories.

THE CONSEQUENCES

The Secularism being practiced in the country has resulted in dividing everything into a Hindu-Muslim issue. The vacillation by the Govt. in tackling terrorism for the sake of a vote bank has resulted in a situation wherein every Muslim is being treated as a suspect, because the common people have no faith in the determination of the political parties. A feeling has gained ground that the politicians will deal everything with their plea of 'secularism'.

It is an extremely unfortunate situation because as all Hindus cannot be categorised as nationalists, so all the Muslims cannot be categorised as terrorists. It is extremely unfair for a complete class of people to be treated as something which they definitely are not. Or maybe this is what our politicians desire. Labelling Muslims as terrorist will only consolidate the feeling of alienation and increase the ghettoisation, resulting in more votes in their favour. This marriage of convenience between Democracy and Secularism bodes ill for the future of our nation.

This hype over secularism diverts the attention of the common people from the issues at hand. Horrible roads, pathetic condition of electricity throughout the country,non existent primary health care and govt. schooling, an obsolete drainage system which results in rain water stagnating for days. The civic amneties in the country are the pits,and more so in the Muslim dominated areas. Has any custodian of Secularism ever bothered to look into this?

The idea evidently is to confuse the people over this debate and hide the inadequacy and corruption in the system. Why let people think over issues which directly affect them, clean water,health care, roads, education and stuff. Let them remain enmeshed in something which removes their focus from the issues at hand, seems to be the motto.

The other fall out of this flawed practice of Secularism has been the suppression of the moderate Muslim voices, who have retreated into the background, while the extremists take centre stage. Shah Bano was the starting point and the govt. action ( or inaction) yielded complete space to these fundamentalists. The question as to why the extremist voices are said to represent Secularism, begs an answer. The moderates are convinced that the govt. will side with the extremists when push comes to shove, so why compromise one's life and honour? An informal discussion with the editor of a leading Hyderabad Urdu daily, Siyasat Times, revealed that he had faced threats to his life while opening a call centre training centre for Muslim girls, in order to uplift their stature, not from the Hindu fundamentalists but from local Muslim fundamentalists. So much so for secularism, Indian style.

The act of the Jamia Milia University Vice Chancellor Mushirul Hasan, in deciding to fight the legal battle for the students arrested for their complicity in the terror attacks in the country is a link in the same perverted chain of 'secularism'. Agreed that everyone is innocent till proven guilty, it is still not understood that how a centrally funded University can take the onus of fighting a legal battle on behalf of these students. The money being provided to these Universities is Public Money, isn't it? We do not pay our taxes for them to be utilised in this ungainly manner, do we? Even the statement of the Vice Chancellor that they will be utilising money generated from their own resources, cuts no ice. Students getting admitted into the University are paying a subsidised fees on account of it being a Central University, and the fee is being submitted on account of them obtaining the services of a central University, nothing less and nothing more. What makes this money the private property of Jamia Milia University, Mr.Vice Chancellor? And furthermore, what message is sent to the misguided youth at large? That they are being persecuted by the state and only their fellow religionists will come for their help!

Recently an IPS officer was penalised for pointing out the anomalies of the sixth pay commission unduly in favour of the IAS officers, on the pretext of violating the Conduct rules. I wonder whether the same conduct rules apply for the Vice Chancellor, Jamia Milia University, since he for all practical purposes is a central govt. employee. But our esteemed HRD minister has publicly supported the stand of the Vice Chancellor. So much so for secularism.

The security agencies are demoralised to start of with, and such 'Secular' acts further enhances their insecurity. Why not let the law take its own course,instead of vitiating the already poor atmosphere!! Why does this country not care more for people who give up their lives at the call of their duty? How can people like the Shahi Imam raise questions, which only exacerbate the morale of the security forces, and get away without any legal or constitutional remedy for the officers? How can Ram Bilas Paswan roam around with an Osama bin Laden lookalike seeking Muslim votes, without the law taking its course? Is the minister not aware of the avowed pronouncement of this terrorist rgarding India being enemy no.1 along with U.S.A, Israel and Russia? All for the sake of 'Secularism' of course.

By the way, maybe the Vice Chancellor of the Jamia Milia University would enlighten us with the amount contributed by them for the recent horrible floods in Bihar. Or their 'Secular' hearts bleed only for a certain cause.

These so called 'Secular' acts also gives credence to the assertion of the lumpen elements on the other side of the fence, regarding the govt. taking sides. The only looser in this battle is the common law abiding citizen of the country, who only desires basic amneties, equality before law, equal opportunites irrespective of caste, creed or religion.

A truly secular concept, isn't it, but something which the politicians cannot provide, since it will eradicate the very need for their existence.