Thursday, July 10, 2008

KAHANI YOUNGISTAN KI

Once upon a time , in circa 1 A.D, in a kingdom called Youngistan , lived a Queen Empress who was also called the Queen Mother , by her loyal subjects . God had showered all his blessings on Youngistan , which was surrounded by mountains on one side and sea on the other three. The kingdom was rich in natural resources , plenty of natural water provided by the glaciers in the mountains and a pleasant weather . The people of Youngistan were God fearing and generally amiable in nature . God had really been kind to this kingdom.
The people of Youngistan had evolved a methodology of running the affairs of the kingdom. Although the kingdom was under the benign suzerainty of the family to which the Queen Mother belonged , it used to elect a leader known as the Pradhan Mantri to run the kingdom along with other mantris , for a period of five years . It was a predecessor of modern day democracy .
In contrast , in the neighbouring kingdom,Confusedistan , there was no such system to run the kingdom . In fact nobody in Confusedistan knew the identity of the person in charge . Some thought that the King was in charge , some thought that the army or the secret agents were in charge , some paid obeisance to the religious leaders , who practised more of politics rather than religion . Therefore , it appears that the founding fathers of the kingdom had named it aptly.The common agenda which bound together Confusedistan , was the pathological hatred towards Youngistan and the desire to bleed it to death through a thousand cuts policy .
Just across the borders of Confusedistan was Fightistan , where the national past time was decapitating people and flogging women . Apparently even the gladiators of the Roman empire had refused to fight the people of this kingdom ,for you cannot compete against a person indulging in his hobby .Youngistan was at peace with Fightistan.
In a far away kingdom, which could only be reached through a journey of months on horseback , lived the Universal Warrior, Alexander Dubya , who wanted to rule over the entire world , but was scared to travel ,lest he fall of at the end of the world . You see he had no knowledge about the earth being round . Basically , he had no knowledge about anything. But Dubya was a first rate warrior and his kingdom, Policestan had developed flying objects which spat fire and stones , and through which he defeated, or at least, fought everybody.

But since this a story about Youngistan , we will stick to it .
Now the system of governance in Youngistan ensured that everybody apart from the Queen Mother, wanted to be the Pradhan Mantri . The Queen Mother was an epitome of renunciation , and the people simply adored her for being so . A few nasty people talked about her renunciation as an art of self preservation , since she could not govern anyway, and that she wanted to ensure the Kingdom to her Yuvraj , i.e. her son ,but then nobody paid any heed to them.
There were two other groups of people apart from the loyalists to the family of the Queen Mother , who were vehemently opposed to the family of the Queen Mother ,and wanted to be the Pradhan Mantri themselves . They were the Saffron and the Red groups .The Reds worshipped Gods who belonged to other foreign kingdoms , and cared two hoots for the Gods of Youngistan . Well they cared two hoots for any other ideology also .The Saffrons , on the other hand thought that they had a monopoly over nationalism and similar stuff.
During one such change over of governance ,the loyalists of the Queen Mother , gained control in alliance with other regional satraps , who always wanted to be the Pradhan Mantri themselves but lacked the strength to do so .Even this conglomeration was not sufficient to rule the kingdom , so the Queen Mother approached the Reds for help. The Reds , who were sick and tired of being the eternal bridesmaid readily agreed .A deal was apparently worked out ,the details were kept confidential , but the people just wanted to run their usual lives , so were not bothered .
The Queen Mother however faced a dilemma regarding appointing the Pradhan Mantri , since the loyalists , as a matter of tradition left this job of selecting the Pradhan Mantri, on the Queen Mother .They did not choose a leader by themselves .
The Queen Mother had to choose between a leader who was a master craftsman and had a tendency to divide people on the basis of Varnas , economic basis etc. The other, was a leader who spoke in a strange language which nobody ,except a few understood . For example , 'sit' was referred to as 'shit'. But the problem was that both of them were extremely ambitious , and the queen mother apprehended that the seat might not be vacated when Yuvraj was ready (throne she had kept for herself).

Finally another elderly mantri was located for the job . This guy was submissive , spoke very little ,harboured no ambitions . In effect , the ideal loyalist. To top it all , the man had unimpeachable integrity,his honesty was his calling card. He would give up all , whenever the Queen Mother desired .
Everything proceeded smoothly for three year after this anointment .People or the Aam Aadmi were happy , Reds were happy (they never showed it , but that is the way they were ), the Saffrons were sulking ,their leaders were getting old . You cannot become Pradhan mantri after you die, can you?
But God has a nasty sense of humour.
The price of everyday items started rising,slowly at first ,and then dramatically . A bag of wheat which was bartered at the expense of a goat (1A.D,remember) ,now got you two healthy cows . Vegetables got you a large tract of land . You had to pay 10 cows ,in order to travel to a neighbouring province .The people started getting disgruntled , the Pradhan Mantri asked the people to desist from scare mongering . The Queen Mother stayed silent . The saffrons smelled an opportunity ,while the Reds protested habitually . They threatened withdrawal of support , but were convinced to stay put by the Pradhan Mantri , over a glass of Som Ras.
In the meanwhile , the Pradhan Mantri got into a deal with Alexander Dubya over the use of FIRE. The Pradhan Mantri assured the kingdom that this deal will solve all the energy crisis facing Youngistan , streets could be lighted throughout the night , students in Gurukuls would have ample of fire to help them in their studies. in brief ,Youngistan could become heaven on earth .
Although Fire had been invented a few centuries back ,Policestan had evolved a technology wherein you could light fire without rubbing stones . But the technology was to be transferred at a price .Subsequent to transfer of this advanced technology , Youngistan was prohibited from using this technology in making fire tipped arrows , for war purposes . Youngistan could not even test these arrows . On the other hand Policestan had the biggest arsenal of such fire tipped arrows .

The Reds , who were itching to ditch the government of the Pradhan Mantri , as they feared anti-incumbency working against them due to abnormal rise in bartering prices , seized this moment. The Reds per se had no qualms about this deal ,but were opposed to any kind of deal with Dubya and his kingdom ,notwithstanding the fact that most of their offsprings went to Policestan for higher studies,instead of going to Takshashila or Nalanda in the country called Bharat, which at that point of time were the most sought after Universities . If the same deal had been struck with the kingdoms , who worshipped the same Gods as the Reds did , the Reds would have referred it as an 'historic agreement'.
The saffrons on the other hand would have supported the deal if they would have been in power, opposed the deal on the plea that they could not be restrained from developing the Fire tipped arrows .
The Queen Mother ,as usual had no comments to offer . The cynics claimed that she could not differentiate between a normal or a fire tipped arrow . Some said that since the time was fit to anoint Yuvraj as the Pradhan Mantri , she wanted the system to collapse . But the Queen Mother remained mum .
In the meanwhile things were deteriorating in the kingdom. Things had reached a stage where the champion wrestler stopped wrestling for the kingdom, and wrestled in exhibition matches only, for the sake of the prize money of Wheat and Cows.
The province of Jannat was aflame , since as they claimed that the people of the rest of the kingdom were hell bent on changing the demography of the province ,while visiting the province for religious purposes .
But the Pradhan Mantri was engrossed in his shadow boxing with the Reds and couldn't care less. Anyway , the kingdom of Confusedistan had been involved in fanning the fires of secession in the province for hundreds of years and nobody had been able to do anything about this .So why even bother .Let the province burn or so they thought .His turn at governance was nearing its end , and there was no surity as to whom the Mother Queen will appoint next.

In the meanwhile , soldiers of Youngistan guarding the traders of Youngistan were attacked in Fightistan, leading to some of them losing their lives . The attack was apparently instigated by the perrenial rival Confusedistan.As usual a few homilies were said , promises to despatch a few warriors on chariots to bring back the dead were made . None of the mantris deemed it fit to go to Fightistan and accompany the bodies of the dead .
By now Alexander Dubya was pressing hard . He wanted the deal and wanted it fast. Being a Universal warrior ,he cared little for the niceties of appeasement and wanted immediate sealing of the Fire deal .
The Reds were furious and demanded that the Pradhan Mantri make his position on the deal latest by the full moon day .They would be eagerely awaiting the message through drum beats .
The Pradhan mantri set out for the Squintisland to meet Dubya ,on his favorite chariot . Enroute he signalled the drum beaters to let the Reds have it , the moment he crossed the borders of Youngistan.
The Reds were furious . How could the Pradhan Mantri take a policy decision on foreign soil. And furthermore , the full moon day was two days away . This was betrayal , they said .
Betrayal ,My foot! said the sycophants in the loyalist camp , which incidentally was full of them . Don't the reds know that the Pradhan Mantri's chariot was always the territory of Youngistan, so technically the Pradhan mantri was on Youngistan's soil , and besides why wait for full moon day , you can have it right now . They further claimed that the reds were acting in an irresponsible manner in the face of the attack in Fightistan. That none of the Mantris had visited the families of the dead , was again , nobody's case.
The Reds were in a tizzy. They were made to look like fools by this 'chariot being territory' bit. Besides ,they realized that the rising cost of barter was a better handle to hit the loyalists with , rather than the Fire deal. But they could no longer continue with arrangement anymore .
The saffrons , who as it is owned the nationalist part , smelled blood and went for the kill.
The Queen Mother , had by now practiced the art of keeping mum into perfection.Besides ,her speech writer had absconded with his dasi .It seemed better to remain quiet and let people keep guessing about your ignorance , rather than opening your mouth and confirming their views.

But the cockiness of the docile and comatose Pradhan Mantri was not without reason .
The wily magician who apparently served but in reality owned a local satrap, was back in business . This magician , who claimed to be 'immortal', had been ignored by the Queen Mother at the banquet to celebrate the appointment of the Pradhan Mantri four years ago, had sworn vengeance , and had spent the major part of the period ,in abusing the Queen Mother and the Yuvraj,had pledged his support to the embattled Pradhan Mantri.
The magician was a mysterious figure . Nobody knew the origin of his immense wealth for he wore designer Angvastram, and his best friend was the most famous entertainer in Youngistan.This friendship drew smirks from everybody around , but the duo were not bothered.
This support to the Pradhan Mantri, was not being done as a favour by the local chieftain and his magician .
Another local satrap in their province ,a lady,who showed a proclivity towards riding an elephant ,had gained immense strength in the province and had driven the chief and his magician away .She was a lady who was supposed to have control over the supernatural powers, was thought of as an 'illusion'. Nobody knew whether she existed in reality or not .
Illusion or otherwise , the magician and his boss were scared to death of this lady .Some years ago ,they had tried to do a Draupadi on her and tried to disrobe her . Now she was hunting for them and had claimed the two would be hung at the stake , if she got hold of them , or maybe even crushed under her elephant . Everybody knew that this lady meant business.
The magician had bargained that the Pradhan Mantri would book this crazy lady under the prevention of cruelty to animals act ,and seize her elephant . This would save them from being crushed under the elephant anyway.Further ,the magician wanted the Pradhan Mantri to give concessions to his friends who owned the guild , manufactured clothes ,especially sarees,built drums for the purpose of communication etc.

The Pradhan Mantri was in a win-win situation .He had been relieved of the burden of carrying the Reds , who were a nuisance anyway .He could continue for a few months longer for he knew that the Queen Mother would not renominate her ,and could create conditions to ensure that the Yuvraj never got the post . It was revenge time for him too. For years everybody had made fun of his servility. It was payback time.
Alexander Dubya was happy . Now History would treat him as a statesman apart from a warrior. He had reined in the ambitions of Youngistan , which was growing too big for its boots .Absence of the Fire tipped arrows ensured that Youngistan would always look towards Policestan in askance ,in every crisis.
Everybody had gained from the crisis.The Pradhan Mantri for reasons already elaborated,the Reds ,for now they could tell the people that they could continue no longer in the arrangement due to rise in barter price. That they were a part of the problem for four years , happy with the Som Ras ,was nobody's case really . The Saffrons , for the people had developed a soft corner for them , without making any efforts . It was like manna from heaven.The Magician and his boss , for from being thrown out of a banquet , now they were the banquet . The local chieftains, for their bargaining power would increase in the next arrangement. Maybe somebody out of them could become the Pradhan Mantri, next time around.
Queen Mother , well nobody knew her side of the story ,since her speech writer had not come back and the Yuvraj was away watching a wrestling match.He hardly spoke anything worthwhile anyway.
Well the province of Jannat remained hell ,batering price for a sack of wheat increased to 100 Arabian horses, Fire was available in even less quantity , Confusedistan increased its policy of bleeding Youngistan through a million cuts, for its confidence was on the upswing . The more the things change , the more they remain the same , or so they say.
The common people of Youngistan remained quiet , as they had always done . The Senapatis,the Scientists ,the Vaidyas,the Officers serving the kingdom ,would not utter a word ,for the fear of losing losing their jobs. Kingdom be damned.In private ,they would make big claims of morality and ethics and the requirement of speaking out against injustice , but in public , mum was the word.
A few years later , the kingdom of Youngistan broke up into various provinces , after great blood shed . Hundreds of Aam Aadmi , who had kept silent in the past for fear of their jobs , were massacred . The leaders , as usual survived .

MORAL OF THE STORY: SILENCE IS NOT ALWAYS GOLDEN.

DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction . Resemblance to any living person or incidents is purely unintentional and co incidental. The moral of the story stays.

10 comments:

Unknown said...

Brilliant. Wonder how long the people will keep on thinking selfishly . Ist century or the 21st century , some things never change.
Keep going .

Shikha said...

Brilliant tale - way to go!

Andher nagri chaupat raja, take ser bhaji take ser khaja...

though of course in this case nothing costs "take ser", am sure!

vipin said...

Bole to bahut badhia likha.Naukri chodiye aap ki jarurat akhbarwalon ko hai.

Unknown said...

Superb, an excellent piece. This is not just contemporary writing that shows your powers of observation, but it is a great piece of literature. The blend of history with the present, and the character buliding, as well as the very apt setting are beyond belief. Your style is mind boggling and I bow to your creativity. An irreplaceable work.

Anonymous said...

I agree with all of the above. Wish we could learn from the moral of the story.

werty said...

Absolutely Brilliant!
Following pieces are indeed marvellous.

1."Universal Warrior, Alexander Dubya , who wanted to rule over the entire world , but was scared to travel ,lest he fall of at the end of the world . You see he had no knowledge about the earth being round . Basically , he had no knowledge about anything".

2."The other, was a leader who spoke in a strange language which nobody ,except a few understood . For example , 'sit' was referred to as 'shit'".

3."the Saffrons were sulking ,their leaders were getting old . You cannot become Pradhan mantri after you die, can you?
But God has a nasty sense of humour."

4."The Queen Mother ,as usual had no comments to offer . The cynics claimed that she could not differentiate between a normal or a fire tipped arrow ."

5."Another local satrap in their province ,a lady,who showed a proclivity towards riding an elephant .........Now she was hunting for them and had claimed the two would be hung at the stake , if she got hold of them , or maybe even crushed under her elephant ."

6."The magician was a mysterious figure . Nobody knew the origin of his immense wealth for he wore designer Angvastram, and his best friend was the most famous entertainer in Youngistan."
Above selection shows the depth of sattire and skills of the writer.

I am waiting anxiously for Part-II.Hope U don't disappoint.

Unknown said...

Great!! You have an alternate career option. Hope the ticking time bomb explodes!!( i.e. the Aam Aadmi speaks)

Shikha said...

I was reading this again - and seriously i think i haven't ever come across a classic imagery like this in writing ever before...the only one that comes to mind is maybe a "goopy gyne bagha byne" and the trilogy by satyajit ray...and that too am talking of the movie

In fact, in this case your "art" overshadows the hilarious events or in more polished terms another piece of "history in making" for our nation
Hats off!

Anonymous said...

Wish the fairytale had continued ad infinitum and till the only elusive time zone known to man - Eternity.
Was trying to figure out my role in the " Fairy tale " and ended up weaving a web of Question Marks around me,the proverbial " Abhimanyu's chakravhiyu" ,which is impossible to get out of.During the course of our evolution , mammals and more specifically Human beings were left with a rudimentary organ called the " Tail " - this was, I guess,propounded by a Scientist from the Policestan ,in circa 16 A.D,but that rudimentary organ in me has settled on the top floor of my "Sculpture "(Read -Statue carved by God)which I refer to as "BRAIN" and is well " preserved ".The sculpture derives its colour,nah - Colors,from another static organ concealed and camouflaged with a lot of brick and mortar,called " Heart " which beats when it beholds the " Niceties of life" and the "Damsels" but otherwise remains in the confines of its safe abode.The " Brain" tells me that you are the Aam Admi,busy arranging for the most sought after and cherished 'Roti , Kapda aur Makan'and owing allegiance to some of the Group / Chieftan for esoteric reasons.The "Brain" says that you are the Aam Admmi confronted with the issue of pressing the button on the voting machine to show your allegiance to one of the Groups / Chieftans as if the issue were more pressing that stopping the pressing of "Fire weapons " into the abdomens of thousands of hapless Aam Admi.The "Brain" says that you are the Aam Admi who has to be masaccred during mayhem ,nah - who has to lay down his worthy life , so that the 'Leasders " survive.
The static "Heart" murmurs that you are one of those damned Aam Admi , who has to charter the untreaded and help trigger the Second Independence of the Motherland.The "Heart" murmurs that you have to contribute your bit as an Aam Admi to the cause of the Motherland and release her from the clutches of 'Poverty ' , 'Hunger' and most importantly - the Local Groups/Chieftans.
Am vascillating vigorously between the "Brain's" and " Heart's" advice and trying to go by one of them.
The " Brain " is rudimentary as I mentioned and the "Heart" static, though beats intermittently,and choosing between them is a desperately tricky situation to say the least.
Bye for now and till the -"Heart starts ruling the "Brain".
Jai Hind!

Akhilesh Roy

Publishing from Anonymus Id for want of proficiency in this"Weapon of Mass Destruction",a creation of the 21 A.D

Anonymous said...

This reflects the real india with the citizens deeply divided by the different invisible walls of separation erected in the name of sects,castes.What else can we expect?
Unrepenting public are the reason for this mess.Unity at what cost and at whose cost? India is not a real estate to be treated like a jagirdari by a select group of people who have only rented this part of earth for a few years. They will also leave this land one day like others and so Partitions are justified always in the end. Thats the lesson which the human race refuses to accept even after so many episodes in the world history.Treat your citizens with compassion and respect or else the 2nd indian independence struggle will just happen sooner than expected.