MANORANJAN KA BAAP II

Bal Thackrey retains his cheerfulness because of his taste in ‘ good music and sports ‘, so goes an article in the Shiv Sena mouthpiece ‘SAMNA’, witten by the cheerful one himself . ‘Cheerful’??????? and Bal Thackrey!!!!!! I beg of any of you to send me a cheerful picture of his . It would be indeed a collector’s item . Anyway wise remarks aside , the context of the article was that the supremo had taken umbrage at the sight of the skimpily clad firang cheerleaders in the I .P.L. and apparently these cheerleaders were the reason for him losing his cheerfulness.
Believing it to be one of those usual harangues of Bal Thackrey , I sat down comfortably in front of the T.V. expecting a very pleasant evening of staying ‘ cheerful’. I and the Supremo differ on a lot of things and this was one of them. Thankfully , my being an inconsequential person, who is not even identified in his own house , saves me from being bashed by the supremo’s army . Anyway, no sooner had I settled down that I nearly fell off my chair (not because off being asleep which happens when I concentrate on I.P.L ), but at the sight off the gorgeous and …… ( this is supposed for family consumption and we do not have the beeps in print ) cheerleaders wearing , hold your breath ,something resembling the lower part off a tracksuit (my vocab is horrible, so please bear with me). I rubbed my eyes in disbelief, this was worse than a nightmare , worse than a Arundhati Roy speech , worse than Anu Malik at his best (or worst ,depends on how you look at it ). It felt as if somebody had sucked life out of my body . This was not supposed to be true………But as usual , it appeared that the Indian Sanskriti had prevailed over my wishes . The supremo had won again.
Not wishing to continue with this torture anymore ( I never watched the Cricket anyway ) , I decided to take a stroll in the nearby park . My heart felt as heavy as a stomach does after a binge on oily and spicy Biryani, and life seemed to have lost all relevance . Entering the Park was an eerie experience , Grown up men sobbed inconsolably , some acted like King Khan in Devdas with bottles in their hands while some sat there forlorn, discussing MetaPhysics which nobody understood (even the masters of M.P. do not understand it) . The reason was evident , Indian Sanskriti had again prevailed over the Indian male. The same Sanskriti which bans F. T.V and Baywatch .
On the other hand , you could hear shrieks off joy from the abandoned homes. No Prizes for guessing, Ekta Kapoor and her version off Indian Sanskriti had made a comeback into households after a hiatus of three weeks.
Before I could recover from this shock comes the shocking news of the great saviour of Indian nationalism Harbhajan Singh bashing up the other great symbol of India Youth, SreeSanth and getting banned from I. P. L. in the bargain.
I smell a foreign conspiracy in the whole affair . After all these two have been in the vanguard of Indian resistance to the Firangs .Remember Sree and his swinging of bat like a buffoon in front of Andre Nel (accompanied by Pelvic thrusts), his pounding of the pitch as if treasure lay hidden underneath , after “once” dismissing Matthew Hayden . What about Harbhajan and his shadow boxing in Australia , his celebrations after taking one wicket as if he had taken Ten in a row.
Uncontrolled laughter has been reportedly heard from the hotel rooms of the Aussies, after the incident. I believe Matthew Hayden had to be hospitalised as his laughter became uncontrollable and Andrew Symonds injured himself, as his vision was distorted because of tears in his eyes. Serves both of them right . Instead of sympathising they have the nerve to laugh at the sight of a weeping SreeSanth , don’t their parents teach them manners ?
My salutations to Sree for behaving like a true Metro Sexual man ( I am not sure of what it means , but sure sounds hep) . What are you supposed to do after getting whacked ? Medical Science informs that controlling Emotions can lead to ulcer. Then who will dance with King Khan and cootchie coo with Priyanka Chopra, For Heaven’s sake!!! So This is the new Youngistaan the Pepsi guys refer to ……….. Great going folks.
All is however not lost for HarBhajan . The Chhotta Supremo, Raj Thackrey has taken up his cause .After all representing the Mumbai Indians , he technically qualifies as a Marathi Manoos . Raj has called for a MAHA bandh and Taxi drivers are being beaten up . Stones have been lobbed at Big B’s residence and Amar Singh been debarred from entering Mumbai.
But Karunanidhi is fighting back .He never watches Cricket as he is too busy getting everything in this country ‘ Reserved’ , but this is too big a issue to let go. Since Raj is on the other side he has called for a T.N bandh to save ‘ Secularism’ . That Sree belngs to Kerala and Raj has turned ‘Secular’ makes no difference. Karuna loves a good fight and so it shall be . He wonders whether he can cut water supply to Mumbai.
Sachin has been asked to appear as a witness. Since Australia he has become a master witness, whether or not he was present at the scene. Anyway whatever he says is gospel in India. Incidentally , Sachin is himself feeling the pinch of Inflation. The Bloody thing has touched 7.33% and that means more money is needed to run the household. That in turn means more ads and more work. You know these ad guys , they are so mean. They do not pay you without working . I.P.L is good, You get paid without playing!!!!
I will now let you on to a secret. With the firang cheerleaders on the way home and to be replaced by desi cheerleaders ( God, have mercy!), Lalit Modi the commissioner ,is contemplating resignation as he had invested heavily in Armanis and with the firangs on the way out where will he strut around in his dapper suits . To hell with being a commissioner , anyway not even he knows his job profile .