MANORANJAN KA BAAP

Text message received by me yesterday--"I. P.L. does the trick. Inflation down to Zero percent. Happy India?"

This Middle class mentality makes my blood boil. You know The Middle class! The ones who are concerned about these outdated stuff like Inflation, Cost of Living, Terrorism, Farmer's suicide, Reservation in Jobs etc. As you realise they are such selfish people that instead of rejoicing in Manoranjan Ka Baap arriving ( such a beautiful Ad on T.V., it brings tears to my eyes) all they think about is Inflation. Arre Baba please do not disturb me with your pessimistic talk while I watch King Khan (my salutations to him and his six pack abs) dance like a cat on a hot tin roof every time THE KOLKATA KNIGHT RIDERS (the team he owns ) hits a boundary or takes a wicket. What unbridled joy he exhibits, and No! I do not find his antics insulting to players of the calibre of Rahul Dravid, after he belongs to the rival camp (Vijay Mallya , but more about him later). Look at King Khan , he spends millions on buying a team/players ,dancing away to glory whereas he should be the one worrying about inflation and such mundane stuff.

King Khan is on record stating that he will dance at any marriage provided he gets good money and you party poopers are not even grateful for seeing him dance for free.

I could not believe my good fortune (even Dhoni did not) when these great personalities Vijay Mallya, Preity Zinta (what fun to be bought by her) got around 'buying' players . And Adam Gilchrist has the nerve to say that he felt 'like a cow' while being auctioned. That is the problem with these firangs and especially this man Gilchrist .I feel he also belongs to the middle class, the fool used to 'Walk' before the umpire could give him out. Rumour is that he got so tired of waiting for Steve 'Slow Death' Bucknor to give a decision that he decided to "walk'', to save himself from getting hypertension. These people are also not grateful for the fact that these great personalities made payments while buying them whereas in this great country of ours they could have forcibly 'obtained' them (like the Netas do, right from ..... to Aeroplanes. Remember Abdul Wahab and Sadhu Yadav) with the Devi of Justice(the one with blindfolds, sword and Tarazu) being as blind as she appears to be. I at times wonder how she manages the sword with the blindfolds, or on other thoughts maybe that is why she does not use it.

Anyway back to I.P.L . I was not able to sleep last night after I learnt that Vijay Mallya was going to bring over Air Hostesses from Kingfisher Airways (he owns that too.....The airways you idiots )for the next match to let his opponents 'feel the heat'. Boy, What fun! as if if watching those half dressed firang cheerleaders wasn't enough......At times I forgot it was Cricket I was supposed to watch. And all you middle class insinuate is that I could not sleep because of the usual power cut.

I am so Happy that Lalit Modi has been appointed Commissioner for I.P.L (whatever that means). Apparently his childhood desire was to become a Commissioner but since he could not qualify the prelims. for the Civil Services he got this post tailor made for himself (Rumours are that his non qualification was because all the seats were captured by the Middle class). Even I also wanted to become a Commissioner ,as my writings would indicate .....I could not.When I wanted to Tailor make a post I nearly became a Tailor, so you see that is where the similarity ends. And do not ask me what a Commissioner is supposed to do in Cricket since even Mr. Modi does not have an answer.

The Great Rajiv Shukla (holds some post in BCCI, Politician and last but not the least was the best student in Arjun Singh school of Sycophancy) is so cheesed of with Lalit Modi for hogging all the limelight( and Preity Zinta) that he has complained to Madam's office to get his due share. Poor fellow , has not been made a minister,Sharad Pawar is a heavy weight (literally and figuratively ) he cannot remove as BCCI President and now this.......

So many foreign players have been bought by our great personalities and instead of bowing our heads in respect all we do is crib about inflation and stuff. Imagine Ricky Ponting playing the next test match aginst india (will he dare appeal against India with King Khan - his owner in the stands). This is India's entry into the world of capitalism.

The only problem has cropped up between the guys at P.E.T.A And the HUMAN RIGHTS guys. Apparently all the Monkeys have been removed from the vicinity of cities where Andrew Symonds is going to play ,for reasons I am not going to elaborate upon. Now the people at PETA have a unique way of highlighting issues of animal concern (females dress up as animals ,in all their natural glory) and therefore they have the firepower to more than match up with Preity Zinta, Kingfisher girls and the firang cheerleaders. The Human Rights guys have steeped into save Andrew Symonds from Racial harrasment, and an interesting battle is brewing. There are rumours that players whose name begin with the dreaded word 'M' have not been bought to avoid legal complications.Muralidharan , beware,as it is you have enough with your javeline throwing and now this.

By the way did you watch the Ad where Sourav Ganguli picks up a Cricket ball and eats it......what bravery ,as that is the only way to avoid those bouncers and moreover my sources tell me that is what he gets to eat at home after he tried out the message of "Make love not War" with Nagma. His wife also must be so Middle class, you know always thinking about themselves, while a person spreads the message of love so selflessly.

Akshay Kumar is pitching in for Delhi Daredevils and in anger Raj Thackrey( the lion cub) has roped in Ravina Tandon and all of Akshay's innumerable girlfriends to pitch in for the Mumbai Indians (although he calls the team Mumbai Marathas). Even the Big B, Small B and Mrs. Small B have been issued advisories to pitch in for them publicly failing which three stones will be thrown at their house, an article written and Taxi Drivers mercilessly beaten up. The Taxi drivers will anyway run away these two teams meet.

Karunanidhi has advised all Tamilans (including his favourite LTTE) to play for Tamil pride and has already written a poem for it. He has pledged to give up all claims on the Hogennakal water project if his team beats the Bangalore guys ( the Kingfisher ones). God forbid ,if they lose Rajanikant will be forced to go on a hunger strike, Kingfisher airlines with its Airhostesses will not be allowed to land in Chennai ..and this will just be the begining.

As the I.P.L ad says Cricket ka Karmayuddha, but I forgot what Cricket has got to do with this.

Anyway inflation as per newspaper reports is at 7.14% ,down .27% from last week. Thanks to the newspaper guys for letting us know it is down , otherwise......

Let the game.. oops! The Show begin

SAY NO TO APPEASEMENT

APPEASEMENT"--Calming, Reconciling, Acquiring Peace by way of concessions or gifts.

The word became a part of foreign policy lexicon because of Neville Chamberlain's policy towards Hitler's Third Reich during the Years 1937 -1939.Hitler was threatening Czechoslovakia to part with Sudentland apparently because the German speaking population was in majority in the province. The real reasons lay in the minerals and other natural resources the province possessed. France under a pact should have come to the aid of the Czechs. However instead of standing up to Hitler both the French and the British panicked. The Czechs were given the option of either yielding to Hitler or facing the might of the mighty German army ....alone! Under the terms of the Munich agreement between BRITAIN, FRANCE,GERMANY AND ITALY, Sudentland was handed over to Germany.The supreme irony of it all was that the Czechs were not even invited to the Munich conference. Chamberlain on his return from Munich was treated like a Hero and in a speech made famous for its supreme appeasement said " My good friends ,for the second time in our History , a British P.M has returned from Germany bringing peace with Honour. I believe it is PEACE FOR OUR TIME." A few months later Germany and Britain were at WAR.World War II had begun.

1947.....India had attained Independence. A war had been fought over Kashmir and territory obtained at great cost. Kashmir has immense Strategic value due to its Geography and topography. The Indian state instead of assimilating it into the mainstream of the country introduce Article 370 to appease Shaikh Abdullah. The consequences: Indians cannot buy land in the state ,Kashmiri females marrying Non Kashmiris Lose all their property rights, their Chief Minister for a very long time was reffered to as SADR-E-RIYASAT (Prime Minister). Thousands of young Indian soldiers have lost their lives in order to stop Kashmir from breaking away.

CIRCA 1987, the case of an old Muslim lady comes up before the Supreme court. The court in its wisdom applies section 125 of the Criminal Procedure Code instead of the Muslim Personal law (yes, personal law is applied to cases of marriages, gifts etc. and there is no common procedure code for these cases) and grants her alimony. The then P.M Rajiv Gandhi defends the decision and Arif Mohd Khan makes a spirited defense. As fundamentalists get active Rajiv Gandhi backs down and a Law is brought in place to negate the ruling of the court. Fundamentalists win and Arif Mohd Khan who has been viciously betrayed by his P.M ,Resigns. The name of the old Muslim lady SHAH BANO.

1989: INDIA becomes the first country to ban THE SATANIC VERSES written by Salman Rushdie. The fundamentalists who were opposing the book admitted that they had not even read the book, but they knew anyhow! The Indian state has a habit of yielding to the bully.

Cut to the present and the singularly happy news of the torch relay for the Olympics passing of peacefully in New Delhi. Singularly happy because all the Govt. offices in the vicinity of the route were shut down from 1:00P.M to 6:oo P.M , ostensibly to provide security to the torch. Knowing how most of the Govt. offices work in the country where empolyees and officers do not venture into the office before 11:00 A.M , I believe you get my point. As per reports the elite N.S.G formed the second layer of security cordon after the first layer of Chinese commandoes. We have reached a depth where we allow foreign security agencies to take over our system. The Chinese should have been reminded that the torch belonged to the International Community (remember Aamir Khan) and was not Chinese and therefore securing it was our responsibility. But then appeasing China has been a policy of the Indian state since our Independence inspite of 1962's betrayal, the open Chinese support for the clandestine Pak missile programme, the open Chinese claim over Arunachal Pradesh ......the list is endless. We appeased China by betraying Tibet in 1950 and today one of the most religious site for the Hindus the Kailash Mansarovar lies in Chinese occupation and Indians need permit to visit the place. Any country with a semblance of national interest would have agreed that a Free Tibet was Best guarantee for Indian borders but then don't we know that the Indian state believes in appeasement of all ! Nation be damned!

I keep referring to the Indian steate as an Indian trait is to blame individuals for failure and apportion victory among all, whereas all of us as citizens of a democracy are equally responsible for the policies being adopted to run the country. After all does a policy of appeasement not affect us adversely as individuals. I appreciate R. K. LAXMAN's common man for his keen observation but his silence has to be replaced by a Speech , a speech so powerful that the World takes notice. We Indians are the successors of Arjuna ,the twang of whose bow GANDIVA use to terrify the enemies and bow them to submission.

We Indians have to prove Gunthar Myrdal's assertion of India being a "soft state" incorrect (albeit it was Economics he was referring to). The appeasement of sections, is not helping the country. Fundamentalists are having a free run, a country which refers to ATITHI DEVO BHAVA (Guest is God) has forced Taslima Nasrin to run away, is on the verge of betraying the Dalai Lama, a neighbour who is itself dependent on a superpower for its needs dreams of bleeding us to death through " A THOUSAND CUTS" (ISI's policy of dividing India). Even Bangladesh , which owes its Indepedence to us can have the audacity to kill B.S.F personnel and parade them around like animals (wonder whether PETA would allow that also).

The common man of the country has to raise his voice and as Swami Vivekanand said "Arise, Awake and stop not before your Goal is reached."

"AN APPEASER IS ONE WHO FEEDS A CROCODILE HOPING IT WILL EAT HIM LAST" ---WINSTON CHURCHILL.
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CITY OF LIGHTS

Mark Twain had said : "Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend and looks twice as old as all of them put together."

I should have read this Quote before shifting to this place.But the fool that i am I instead believed in Diana Eleck's work:"Varanasi The City of Lights",a misnomer if there was one.Believe me ,I Have nothing against the book which is a brilliant piece of work on the city.It was my fault that I misunderstood 'lights' to be associated with electricity,you know the one which lights up our household,streets,which enables children to study,makes people have a comfortable sleep,ensures that you have a proper wash in the morningand does innumerable other things which they take for granted.Perhaps of all the inventions Tomas Alva Edison made ,he perhaps remain most famous for discovering BULB.

I should have known better! Diana Eleck reffered to the spiritual matter( you know the one associated with brain,gibberish talk,philosophy.....the WORKS) while reffering to 'LIGHTS'.This is what I hate about these foreigners.They never let you know the complete truth.The EAST INDIA COMPANY apparently came to trade,British left India 10 months before the declared date.....the list is endless.Well no point in cribbing about the lying foreigners.I have landed up in this ancient city and within four years have started feeling ancient.

I did not have the faintest idea that in order to promote tourism the way those lying westerners do,Govt. of U.P in association with the Govt. of India had devised a plan to preserve the tag of the ancient city following in the footsteps of VENICE ,STRATFORD AT AVON etc.The brilliant plan is to make the entire 31 lakh inhabitants of the city live the exact way there forefathers did thousands of years ago..........IN DARKNESS (not the spiritual one,though I am not sure of that one too). WHAT BRILLIANCE!Though very hard to believe but fact remains that the city on an average gets 12 hours of electricity and that too in phases come rain ,summer or winter.Spiritually WEAK people (like me) roam around the city at odd hours in the night,fight with each other,do nothing except curse each other(I must accept that this place has enriched my vocabulary).Exactly the way the city lived thousands of years ago.Crime is perhaps the highest in the country,Policemen on duty look worse than rogues.

But the plan devised by the Govt. is suceeding as stats indicate that out of 100 foreign tourists visiting India 94 visit Benaras (Agra is tops at 96).GOA take a walk!And come to think of it we never give credit to the Govt for it.......Who but the most brilliant of minds could have devised such a plan.It is on par with the COMMUNIST plan in Russia where they made obtaining Bread so hard that the common man could think of nothing else but standing in gargantuan lines to procure their daily bread.Out here the common man does not think of studies,cultural enrichment and anything near to civilisation.Well isn't that the idea-Retaining the city in its ancient state.

Futhermore this brilliant idea helps the Politicians even more -A thinking person is like AIDS for a politician.They will divide a society on caste ,religion,ethnicity,gender and if you still have any power remaining deprive you of LightS(not the Diana Eleck one).They will ensure that the children are not educated,adults remain irritated,fatigued(that happens when you do not sleep in the night) and the capable migrate letting these messiahs of the downtrodden run amok.Even communism had to deliver bread and where thrown out, but hopes are receding for this state and this city in particular.

The Lights have come back and I am running to fill water for drinking,Blog and my ideas be DAMNED..................

Thoughts on Reservation

So finally the SUPREME COURT OF INDIA has upheld the decision of the MHRD to introduce reservation for OBC in higher education .Since the issue has direct implications for the 'VOTE BANK' politics it has met with an enthusiastic response from across the political spectrum.The decision has been hailed as 'historic' by nearly all the political parties.The total percentage of Reservation in the educational institutions stands at 49.5 and that too is not because of any sense of fairplay but due to the restrictions introduced by an earlier decision of SUPREME COURT which restricts the percentage to be kept under 50%.

Without going into the merits and demerits of Reservation,the oppression faced by the people due to the oppressive caste system etc. which have been endlessly debated,there are a few observations which require attention:

1. The Reservation policy in employment was initially introduced for the SC/ST at the time of acceptance of CONSTITUTION for a period of 10years and was to be subsequently reviewed.Since Dr B.R.AMBEDKAR was Chairman of the commitee which drafted the CONSTITUTION and which included many other stalwarts(the word had a truer meaning in those days),it can be presumed that the period of 10 years was debated and arrived upon giving everybody a fair chance.The "oppresed" were given a time frame during which an entire generation could uplift itself and the Government could create conducive conditions making the requirement of extension infructuous.

The truth in this matter needs no elaboration.I wonder whether there is even a single shred of paper where the matter was rationally discussed susequently.Any voice of sanity is suppressed by shrill cries of "being anti poor"," carrying the legacy of the oppressor".Incidentally data indicates that susequent to introduction of the policy of reservation not a single caste has moved out if its ambit and hundreds more have infact been included for its benefit.Talk of reservation emancipating the 'backwards'.Hundreds more are clamouring to get under its umbrella, the riots in RAJASTHAN between the Gujjars and Meenas are a case in study.We might be the only country in the World where people fall over backwards to get themselves called "BACKWARD".And come to think of it we pride ourselves on being a developed nation.

2 The minority educational institutions (fully funded by the Govt. offcourse) have been exempted under this policy to increase reservation.The subtle hints are that caste is something preached and practised by the Hindus only.However only a few days back a news item appeared where the Govt. wanted to provide the benefits of reservation to Dalit Christians and dalit Muslims.So the inference is that a Dalit Christian can claim benefit of Reservation everywhere else except Christian minority educational instituion.The Hypocricy and the fraud being played out is amazing.

3Dr AMBUMANI RAMADOSS availed the benefit of being an SC candidate in becoming a Doctor.Nothing wrong in it ,except that his father was a sitting RAJYA SABHA M.P. at the time.Not surprisingly he has vehemently opposed the part of the SUPREME COURT decision regarding exclusion of 'creamy layer' from availing the benefit.So brace yourself for a constitutional amendment in this regard.

The time to raise our voice and save the country is now.Are we ready.......................

GLORIFIED DRIVER

BREAKING NEWS::: THE MOST POWERFUL LADY IN INDIA IS THE WIFE OF A GLORIFIED DRIVER.

Kudos to Shri Abdul Wahab a M.P from somewhere in Kerala having a net worth of Rs. 130crores,belonging to the INDIAN MUSLIM LEAGUE(Yes the party still exists in India despite the events of 1947). Well introductions aside this is an eulogy for the Hon'ble M.P. and should remain so.

The incidence took place a couple of days back when Rajat Rana a pilot for INDIAN refused to take off from Kozhikode to Dubai until the M.P was taken off the plane.The only mistake committed by the M.P was that he alongwith his kin had arrived 15minutes after the departure time off the aircraft which had been kept waiting for him by the Airport authorities.The passengers were fuming and the pilot allegedly told the M.P that they might be running the country but he was flying the plane and asked him to disembark for "passenger safety".At this point the M.P called him a 'glorified driver'.

My salutations to the M.P for telling it as it is,how dare a glorified driver raise objections to a delay off mere 15mins.Does the driver not know that an M.P is an accredited representative of the people(wordings as per Govt. rules) and therfore is entitled to any delay made by him and his family.After all is he not entitled for innumerable free telephone calls,free travel,Govt funds for 'utilisation',Secret accounts,spreading ill will among people..................and the 'glorified driver talks of passenger safety.Has the M.P not granted them safety that they have the nerve to board the plane before his arrival when his cohorts could have very easily stopped them from reaching the Airport thrashing them on the way,without so much as anybody raising an eyebrow.That is Ingratitude for you ,inspite of being so considerate ,the passengers want to fly on time and people talk of rules and passenger safety.Rules! My foot! Tell me who frames rules for the country and if they can make rules they have the first right to break them.

The Great M.P shold have reminded the pilot and passengers about SADHU YADAV(the great Laloo's brother in law and commander in chief of his army) who frequently forcibly enters Rajdhani Express and throws off bonafide passengers(for their safety off course-rails are so unsafe) and occupies their berths and here this poor man is only making them wait and such a ruckus is created.

Such ungrateful people I tell you.The elected repsentatives do so much for the country........discuss bills in parliament threadbare,frame laws ,enhance country's reputation in foreign lands(Pranab Mukherjee quivering before his Chinese couterpart),follow Gandhigiri and utter nothing when our Ambassador in China (a lady by the way) is summoned at2.30A.M by the Chinese authorities to protest against Dalai Lama's activities in India........and you still want them to be on time for a mere flight.This is why India does not progress,all you people are so selfish caring about their own security,look at us moving around with only a dozen securitymen and 20 armed 'followers'(to save us from being mobbed by our voters off course) and this man says passenger security.

Let us join hands and remove this pilot as he is not fit to fly.Arre baba tell me how dare he teach rules to an elected representative and as if these 'Great' men do not have enough on their hands (filling up their coffers,fighting in Parliament...)

Incidentally RAJIV GANDHI was a glorified driver before becoming an M.P AND P.M.

Report card

So finally we have it: The much awited cabinet reshuffle has taken place.Apparently 6 ministers have been dropped and some young blood infused ,well if you can call M.S.GILL as a young blood.More about them later but here is an imaginary ( or real ) report card Manmohan Singh had in front of him while making the reshuffle:oops......suggesting the reshuffle to Madam(right after she told him what to have for breakfast).

1.SHIVRAJ PATIL- Who??? Well for the uninitiated he is the HOME MINISTER OF INDIA Who once upon a time was also the speaker of PARLIAMENT (The one who rarely spoke).A sophisticated ,modest man( incidentally there is a famous remark WINSTON CHURCHILL made about his predecessors modesty "he has much to be modest about").Terrorism, Naxalism,Kidnappings ,Scarlette Keeling.....................The Man never speaks especially since He was dropped for consideration as President.Anyway what do you guys anyway want? a Home minister or aHimmesh you know who

2.P CHIDAMBARAM- You poor people ,only talking about inflation when the SENSEX is booming.That is drawback with you INDIANS ,only thinking about your bread.Look at me wearing a Lungi(apologies to my South Indian friends for not knowing its southern equivalent.....but a lungi it remains ) and knatty suits in DAVOS (which I visit every year GOD knows why) and all you are concerned is inflation.

3SHARAD PAWAR.......Well he is also the part time AGRICULTURE Minister apart from his main duties as President BCCI.Now do not srtart abount farmers suicides and the depth agriculture has hit......India has been thrashed by South Africa in three days,IPL is 11 days away ,Sachin has run away from the team to rest for IPL and all you guys talk about is suicides,farm indebtedness,lack of monsoon ,import of wheat at exorbitant prices.He alrady has his hands full of cricket.For heavens sake shut up if you want India to win the next test.

4LALOO YADAV........now you go again.INDIAN RAILWAYS is a profit making venture,Rabri is back where she belongs (at home) and you party poopers talk about some fraud being played out on the nation in the name of TATKAL where half the tickets are being at exorbitant premiums by the government,Rail safety and what not.This is the problem with you communalists only thinking about yourself and trying to criticise us "secular people"

5.PRANAB MUKHERJEE....Well even I forget the ministry he holds as he is so busy cuddling upto the Red Brigade and of corse he is also learning how to pronounce 'sit' without a Bengali accent(apologies to my Bengali friends).Last time he uttered the word George Bush guided him to his loo....

Time to take a break and stop being a Diljala .........

O Tibet

Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru betrayed Tibet in the 1950's in order to please the Chinese who then tracherously stabbed him in the back in 1962.Nehru could not overcome this betrayal and passed away soon.The Chinese have since then systematically changed the demographic and cultural profile of Tibet.The peaceful people of Tibet have been virtually annihilated by Beijing inspite of powerful friends in the western world.As somebody aptly remarked "Tibet is the last post of imperialism in the world".Try telling this to Brinda Karat ,Arundhati Roy and the rest of the Red Brigade.They might observe a complete hartal in Kerala and West Bengal however hard Buddhadeb might plead against it.
It is tragic to note the Indian response to acts of mindless Chinese violence in Tibet for the past so many days.The foreign minister has advised the Dalai Lama against indulging in political activities on Indian soil.The firm Chinese grip over the Indian psyche is very evident in the statement.This coming from such a senior leader of a country where kings stood up against emperors while giving shelter to fugitives without giving a hoot for their kingdom.
Even strategicially speaking the concept of 'Buffer states' is religiously followed by nations in order to have a safeguard against strong neighbours.The History of Indo China relations would have been different had Nehru not let China grab Tibet without so much as a whimper.Reports that Chinese officers and intelligence agents had been permitted entry into Nepal to prevent Tibetan activists from entering Nepal have serious repurcussions for India strategically as Nepal to a certain extent remains our last buffer (althogh with the Maoists taking over even that has been compromised).
If a country wants to assume the mantle of a superpower as India does ,it has to act as one . You do not become a Superman whaen your knees give way at the sight of the local bully.But our politicians are too busy fighting each other in the parliament,The Red Brigade sees Red over the mention of Tibet and ofcourse the IPL is only 14 days away(as an entertainment channel regularly updates us).
Let us all salute Baichung Bhutia who refused the Chinese bait and has refused to carry the Olyumpic torch when it passes through India,Wish their were more MEN like him.Somebody tell Aamir Khan that Nazi officers wer convicted at the Nurmberg trial inspite of pleading that they were simply following orders.He becomes as guilty as the Chinese thugs the moment he carries the Olympic torch whatever his reasoning might be.Remember this flame has innocent blood on it.
But then who cares..............