Report card

So finally we have it: The much awited cabinet reshuffle has taken place.Apparently 6 ministers have been dropped and some young blood infused ,well if you can call M.S.GILL as a young blood.More about them later but here is an imaginary ( or real ) report card Manmohan Singh had in front of him while making the reshuffle:oops......suggesting the reshuffle to Madam(right after she told him what to have for breakfast).

1.SHIVRAJ PATIL- Who??? Well for the uninitiated he is the HOME MINISTER OF INDIA Who once upon a time was also the speaker of PARLIAMENT (The one who rarely spoke).A sophisticated ,modest man( incidentally there is a famous remark WINSTON CHURCHILL made about his predecessors modesty "he has much to be modest about").Terrorism, Naxalism,Kidnappings ,Scarlette Keeling.....................The Man never speaks especially since He was dropped for consideration as President.Anyway what do you guys anyway want? a Home minister or aHimmesh you know who

2.P CHIDAMBARAM- You poor people ,only talking about inflation when the SENSEX is booming.That is drawback with you INDIANS ,only thinking about your bread.Look at me wearing a Lungi(apologies to my South Indian friends for not knowing its southern equivalent.....but a lungi it remains ) and knatty suits in DAVOS (which I visit every year GOD knows why) and all you are concerned is inflation.

3SHARAD PAWAR.......Well he is also the part time AGRICULTURE Minister apart from his main duties as President BCCI.Now do not srtart abount farmers suicides and the depth agriculture has hit......India has been thrashed by South Africa in three days,IPL is 11 days away ,Sachin has run away from the team to rest for IPL and all you guys talk about is suicides,farm indebtedness,lack of monsoon ,import of wheat at exorbitant prices.He alrady has his hands full of cricket.For heavens sake shut up if you want India to win the next test.

4LALOO YADAV........now you go again.INDIAN RAILWAYS is a profit making venture,Rabri is back where she belongs (at home) and you party poopers talk about some fraud being played out on the nation in the name of TATKAL where half the tickets are being at exorbitant premiums by the government,Rail safety and what not.This is the problem with you communalists only thinking about yourself and trying to criticise us "secular people"

5.PRANAB MUKHERJEE....Well even I forget the ministry he holds as he is so busy cuddling upto the Red Brigade and of corse he is also learning how to pronounce 'sit' without a Bengali accent(apologies to my Bengali friends).Last time he uttered the word George Bush guided him to his loo....

Time to take a break and stop being a Diljala .........

O Tibet

Pandit Jawahar Lal Nehru betrayed Tibet in the 1950's in order to please the Chinese who then tracherously stabbed him in the back in 1962.Nehru could not overcome this betrayal and passed away soon.The Chinese have since then systematically changed the demographic and cultural profile of Tibet.The peaceful people of Tibet have been virtually annihilated by Beijing inspite of powerful friends in the western world.As somebody aptly remarked "Tibet is the last post of imperialism in the world".Try telling this to Brinda Karat ,Arundhati Roy and the rest of the Red Brigade.They might observe a complete hartal in Kerala and West Bengal however hard Buddhadeb might plead against it.
It is tragic to note the Indian response to acts of mindless Chinese violence in Tibet for the past so many days.The foreign minister has advised the Dalai Lama against indulging in political activities on Indian soil.The firm Chinese grip over the Indian psyche is very evident in the statement.This coming from such a senior leader of a country where kings stood up against emperors while giving shelter to fugitives without giving a hoot for their kingdom.
Even strategicially speaking the concept of 'Buffer states' is religiously followed by nations in order to have a safeguard against strong neighbours.The History of Indo China relations would have been different had Nehru not let China grab Tibet without so much as a whimper.Reports that Chinese officers and intelligence agents had been permitted entry into Nepal to prevent Tibetan activists from entering Nepal have serious repurcussions for India strategically as Nepal to a certain extent remains our last buffer (althogh with the Maoists taking over even that has been compromised).
If a country wants to assume the mantle of a superpower as India does ,it has to act as one . You do not become a Superman whaen your knees give way at the sight of the local bully.But our politicians are too busy fighting each other in the parliament,The Red Brigade sees Red over the mention of Tibet and ofcourse the IPL is only 14 days away(as an entertainment channel regularly updates us).
Let us all salute Baichung Bhutia who refused the Chinese bait and has refused to carry the Olyumpic torch when it passes through India,Wish their were more MEN like him.Somebody tell Aamir Khan that Nazi officers wer convicted at the Nurmberg trial inspite of pleading that they were simply following orders.He becomes as guilty as the Chinese thugs the moment he carries the Olympic torch whatever his reasoning might be.Remember this flame has innocent blood on it.
But then who cares..............

Who Cares

A very strange development has been going on for the past two days in SISAULI village of Muzzafarnagar districct of UTTAR PRADESH. Mahendra Singh Tikait of the Bharatiya Kisan Union apparently abused Mayawati (C.M of Uttar Pradesh) by referring to her caste which is violation of the law of the land.

The state Government takes note of this act and nearly the entire state administrative machinery descends on the place to arrest Tikait(obviously not to uphold the law as people are let off for crimes worse than this but to please Madam C.M). But true to style and knowing fully well how the system works (he is himself a monster created by the system) Tikait refuses to play ball and gets himself surrounded by 1500 of his supporters. The Administration very typically never had a Plan B and react the best they can- They PANIC. The supporteters of Tikait attack the law enforcers with brickbats and it is a pathetic sight to see the RAPID ACTION FORCE (the elite secular forces created to combat Riots) run like scared Rabbits. Well on second thoughts the rabbits would have fared better but then they might not be secular. So the next time the law enforcers try to enforce law even the kids of the village know how to react. Cannot blame the forces though as they are very well awre that any use of force is sure to invite the human rights activists followed by Arundhati ROY AND Brinda Karat, after all it is not Nandigram we are talking about, and who knows Madam C.M might get frindly with Tikait before the next elections and then where will the poor Policewala stand.

The political parties cannot let this pass and come up with allegations which are so confusing as if they are talking about the combination of Philosophy with ROCKET SCIENCE. The SC ST Commission Chairman Buta Singh, yes the same one who summoned Madhuri Dixit for a song in her film and was the Union Home Minister when Sikhs were being murdered in Delhi does not know what to do. How can you summon somebody when the police is running away and anywhy he is not even close to Madhuri lookswise, but damn these press people who ask these irritating questions.

In the meanwhile there sits Tikait in all his glory surrounded by his cohorts cocking a snook at the law of the land and all this country can do is watch this charade unfold. Wonder how this country can stand up to terrorism and its ilk.

And as a passing remark ,nobody knows what Tikait has done for the benefit of the farmer whose cause he purportedly champions and who are commiting suicides by hundreds throughout the country. But then who cares..........