MANORANJAN KA BAAP is back!!!
No sir, I am not talking about my writing, which is also back temporaily, but about the launch of IPL season III.. Hope you guys remember the punchline from the first edition and the original Manoranjan ka Baap.
Like any traditional Indian wedding, the bride’s father (the franchisee owners in this case) have had a hard look at the prospective grooms available in the market(the players) and like the real traditional wedding brought grooms from the market place (the auctions in the instant case) according to the depth of their pockets.
Uncanny resemblance isn’t it?
Like any traditional wedding also, the bride’s father is now showcasing his buy, while the jealous father’s (the one’s left behind) can only look on with envy.
But for a moment Yaad unhe bhi kar lo, jo bazaar mein bik na paaye.
Wonder whether Lata Mangeshkar will sing this for us.
Anyway!
Let us all unitedly cast our mind on those unfortunate Pakistani grooms..oops.. players who appeared all decked up as prospective you know what but found no suitors.
Imagine!! 11 Prospective grooms, with excellent pedigree, and no buyers! Have the bride’s parents gone blind or what??
What to say of Pakistan, even the intellects in this country have gone berserk, the peaceniks have started abusing and threaten to stone anything which moves (which is hardly anything in this country anyway), Kashmir is threatening to secede and Kuldip Nayar has started out on his walk towards the Wagah border with candles in his hand. The newspapers are running out of sheets, the news anchors, especially the intelligent English speaking ones have developed sore throats from trying to outshout anyone who dares to outshout them.
But guess who the only happy soul is!!!
Guess??
I will not proceed any further with this stupid guess part. How will people guess the idiocy only I am capable of thinking. Not even the three idiots!
Sharad Pawar, the agriculture minister and the astrologer in house in the cabinet, has been given respite by the media friends who being too busy with the auction business are not roasting him alive by the ‘food price rise’ business. Finally people are thinking about other pressing issues apart from food and eating. As it is, we Indians think only about eating most of the time. Last heard he was seen praying in Marathi at the Siddhi Vinayak temple (No, we will not press any further on this). I have great respect for the MNS and the Shiv Sena. AAmchi Deva, if you please, and if it makes any sense.
But the most offended have been the parents of the turned down grooms aka the Pakistani players. The interior minister of Pakistan, Rahman Malik was indignation personified when he said that, ‘this showed that India was not serious about talks,’ ‘India should say sorry’, ‘Now they will send a plane to take our players.’
Talks!! Sorry!! Atta boy, Mr. Rahman… Bravo, Bravo!
Some worthy went a step further and opined, ‘India will face the consequences’. ‘Treachery’ , ‘Traeson’ are some of the lighter words that have been used.
I entirely agree with the sentiments expressed by our ‘friends’ from across the border. After all what better way to start the ‘talks’ between the two countries than play Cricket. You see that is why they call it ‘MANORANJAN KA BAAP’. What Sharm-el- Shaikh could not do, IPL would have done. After all it has been a time tested strategy between us to talk through Cricket. We started in 1978 when India went to Pakistan to play cricket, 2003-04 was another ice breaker. That we are still at the staring point on the real issues is completely besides the point.
Now I will let you guys on to a few historical and contemporary secrets, subject to the condition that you guys don’t share it with others. You see what I am going to divulge is from the confidential records of the Intelligence agencies. They are so confidential that even the Intel guys do not know about their existence.
Hold your breath guys, here goes.
Do you guys know why India was partitioned in 1947??
Please do not pay any heed to this nonsense of a political rivalry between Jinnah and Nehru and the underlying fundamental religious differences, or British treachery. Hogwash, I tell you!!!
Anybody who cares about History just needs to travel back to the days of Bodyline when Sir Donald Bradman was sought to be neutralised as a run machine. Now take a careful look at the progenitor of the theory of Bodyline—the one and the only Douglas Jardine. Now what I suggest that we take out any old photograph of Mohd. Ali Jinnah (in case of requirement, contact Jaswant Singh, that is all he has nowadays, you might get a discount).
Now compare the looks, the suits, the gait, the personality………Yessirrr, Jinnah and Jardine were twins separted at birth. The fact like Karna in the Mahabharat was known to Jinnah only, Jardine died blissfully in ignorance. Now let us get back to the main story, cut in brief. Jinnah with the knowledge of his brother having made it big in the field of Cricket, wanted a revenge in the game Jardine played best. Therefore in order to start the fight, he needed to become the captain of the Indian Cricket team.
But history has a strange way of imposing itself. Pandit Nehru, like the politicians of the day, manipulated the selection committee like a puppet. No way would he let Jinaah overtake his favourite player to the captaincy of the country (We will not name the palyer, for we do not no his name anyway).
Jinnah pleaed, cajoled, threatened to retire, even went to the Mahatma for his interference. But the Mahatma, true to his style ‘saw only darkness, wanted the truth to prevail’. Jinnah wanted to know the truth, the way to eliminate the darkness. But the Mahatma, true to his style again, would not tell. So the truth remained untold, darkness persisted. Jinnah had a sneaking feeling that even the Mahatma did not know the truth or the way out. But then who could say so??
So finally Jinnah made up his mind, truth, darkness, celibacy….whatever, if he could not captain India, he would do the next best thing! Create his own country!!!! He thought that once you have your own country, who can stop you from being the captain!
So now you know, the Pakistan day resolution, the call for the Direct Action day, the massive butchery where millions were massacred on both sides, and the real reasons behind the creation of Pakistan. Jinnah only forgot one thing in the whole scheme-----His advancing age.
But he pledged that day, that he will get his revenge from these Indians. Pakistanis will get their due in Indian Cricket. They will not ask for it, but grab it.
The records of the intelligence agencies categorically indicate Ajmal Amir Kasab, the poor innocent guy, who was caught in Mumbai on that fateful night, was no terrorist who along with his team members was alleged to have gunned down around 200 people, as he has been pleading all along, but an aspiring cricketer who wished to be a part of the Manoranjan ka Baap. But the Indian agencies in connivance with the IPL framed them in this massive deceit. The poor fellow has been crying hoarse (and getting fat in the comforts of the prison) that he did not fire at people but infact had been framed, he further has asserted in court that the firing in Mumbai in those fateful days was carried out by Indians. Interestingly Kasab’s team was made up of 10 players only. Jinnah remains the non playing captain of all such teams. And you know the reasons behing this Indian chicanery.
No sir, not because these guys were out here to destroy India as a part of a long drawn process, but ostensibly because the Indians would go to any extent to deprive the Pakistanis to play Cricket in India.
Does this claim in light of the events at the auction and the ‘great betrayal’ of the Pakistani players, not ring true?
The truth has to come out some day. The truth that whatever we might feel about the ‘alleged’ Pakistani sponsored and instigated terrorism which has resulted in two major and two minor wars, resulted in thousands of people being killed, maimed or made homeless is not because of some pathological hatred between the two nations or the overt statement and subsequent policy of ‘bleeding India through a thousand cuts’, but because of the fact that Pakistani players are being denied their share of the pie in Indian money.
Shame on us, for as a nation we are not able to see the truth that there is no terrorism, no mayhem and the fact that Indian Fathers must choose on Pakistani grooms for their daughters or else ‘talks will not take place’ or we ‘will face the consequences’. And anybody who talks about Indian artists not being allowed to perform in Pakistan or about the Indian youth dying a needless death while facing these cricketers from Pakistan in the valleys and mountains of Kashmir, the sand dunes of Rajasthan or even the streets of the urban India will get a bloodied nose from the peaceniks in India.
Let us all solemnly unite behind the call to force these franchisees to take Pakistani players on board, pay them the highest amount of money, let them relax in the Bahamas (playing might result in injuries and further threats of No talks) while the rest of the guys of the team slog it out. After all anything for talks and safety from ‘consequences’.
Hasn't that been the Indian Tradition?
They do not call it the Manoranjan Ka Baap for nothing, do they?
